Women typically say they want a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them, and with whom they can be the same. I’ve dated some men for months who never shared a vulnerable thought, even if I asked about his hopes, fears, dreams and regrets. Nothing.
So I was pleased that a man I’ve been talking to for 3 weeks, but we haven’t yet met, was comfortable enough to cry on the phone with me. The circumstances were extenuating: his mother had just died, it was the day before the funeral, none of his siblings would help with the funeral in any way so everything fell on him. He was stressed over this, grief stricken, getting pressure from his job to return to work. Anyone would have cracked at this — or even less.
He didn’t seem to be embarrassed, nor did he apologize as some men do when they show emotion. Men are typically socialized to not share their sadness, and heaven forbid they cry. “Only sissies cry” seems to be branded into many men’s psyche.
In “Is he a ‘soft place to fall’?” we talked about how important it is for most women to have a man with whom they can be vulnerable. But the reverse is true for some men, too, even if they aren’t a “Sensitive, New Age Guy.” And just like he doesn’t want someone who is so emotionally unstable that you blubber at the sign of a dead flower, so, too, you don’t want a guy who seems to be taking estrogen injections.
How do you feel about men who are willing to show their emotions? Is there a length of time you feel you need to know each other before being that emotionally honest?