DG reader Tim asked me to address the following, which applies to both genders: I’m 41 and been dating 3 years. Most of the woman I meet assume that they can go from a divorce to another long-term relationship and never work on themselves before doing so. The longer someone is in a bad relationship…
Tag: Dating after 40
Is he assertive enough for you?
In women’s dating stories of budding relationships gone awry, there are two common themes: The man was too aggressive too early. The man wasn’t assertive enough to say what he needed, or make requests for minor modifications of adaptable behaviors, so he went poof. I think #1 is pretty self-explanatory — he got too physical…
Do you put your dates through tests?
Do you make men jump through some hoops when dating you? What do I mean? Some women will only date a man who: makes the first contact. treats her to dinner at a nice restaurant within the first few dates. sends or brings her flowers within the first few dates. calls her once a day….
“It feels so comfortable”
A gal pal described her relationship with her new beau with this common phrase. We interpret this as it feels right. If it weren’t right, it wouldn’t feel comfortable, right? There are many reasons why being with him could feel comfortable. Perhaps he’s easy going. Maybe he possesses characteristics you find appealing. Possibly he’s got…
Truffles, pigs and romance
You may have heard of the pheromone androstenone, found in boar saliva, that is similar to what men secrete through sweat glands. It is said to drive some females into a frenzy. Did you know that truffles (the wild mushroom kind not the chocolate kind) smell similarly? Truffles’ scent is what makes sows such effective…
Midlife dating etiquette
The other day I was asked me for some rules of etiquette for when one is beginning to date. While etiquette is, according to the dictionary, “the customary code of polite behavior,” there are no hard and fast rules. What is rude to one is not a big deal for another. Following are what I’ve…
Care of newbie daters
Many midlife daters reenter the dating scene after a long absence. If they aren’t a long-time single, they are available again because of divorce or death of their spouse. At this age, many are sensitive to fading looks and possibly squishy bodies, even though others are buffer and more attractive than ever before. Midlifers are…
Do you project life with your date?
Do you project your life into the future with the guy you’ve just started dating — sometimes even before you’ve met? I’ve been guilty of this, as well as been on the receiving end. Let me give you some examples: Yesterday I had a first coffee date with an award-winning professor at a local internationally…
The fear of finding “The One”
We can call it commitment phobia. But before we label it, let’s examine it. I’d bet it has happened to nearly all of us at one time or another. You meet someone terrific, and he feels similarly. You date for a while — months or even years. You say you are committed to each other,…
Do you think you’ll change his mind?
Yesterday, I ran into a high-school buddy — someone I hadn’t seen in over 30 years. He stopped me at our neighborhood’s dance party, to which the whole city is invited. Out of 10,000 people, he picked me out of the crowd. I guess I haven’t changed a great deal since high school! Catching up,…
Is Brad Pitt ruining your love life?
Last night I saw Ocean’s Thirteen. It was an eye-candy feast, with George Clooney and Brad Pitt 25-feet high. Yum! We know how effective media is in shaping our perspective, even our values, including our self-image. We know that being bombarded with images of beautiful men and women molds our vision of attractiveness. As we…