midlife dating

I’ve just returned from the royal wedding. Well, not the wedding itself, as my invitation must have gotten lost in the post. However, I let it be known to my British friends that I was available for anyone’s plus one. I would have dashed out and bought a fascinator!

I was in London for a few days right before the wedding but decided not to fight the crowds for a 10-second view of the procession so went to a friend’s house an hour outside London. We watched it on the telly then went to two royal wedding parties.

While I watched, I was as entranced along with millions of other viewers. I pondered the allure. Two good-looking, young, rich people were allowing the world to watch one of the most important moments of their lives. The “costumes” of both the wedding party and guests made for entertaining television. The horsemen, guards and carriages were the height of pomp. Everything ran smoothly — nearly perfectly.

Women (mostly) were enraptured by the whole process. The London papers were filled with front-page detail for the week before and days afterward. What was so beguiling for my ilk — midlife women? And was it good for us single women — or bad?

A few days ago, over a pain au chocolat in Paris, my French friend Benoit shared relationship advice. While it was something I’d heard before, somehow coming from a Frenchman in Paris, delivered in his charming French accent, it had more gravitas.

I like to flirt. I don’t ever expect anything from it. I’m surprised if there is a benefit beyond just fun.

This week I had an experience that cemented my belief in harmless flirting. Not that I needed any encouragement!

I was interviewed on Dr. Duffy Spencer's "Just Relationships" radio show for two shows. Dr. Duffy is a lively interviewer. Each is 30 minutes. Listen to Part 1 Listen to…

Do you sometimes feel you’ve explored all the eligible men in your area who meet your criteria? Perhaps you’ve modified your online searches and lowered your requirements and still no one compelling has expressed mutual interest.

You need to try something new. Dramatically different.

We’ve all had it.

None of us likes it.

It stings, although sometimes it’s a relief.

It’s hard to give and to receive.

You’ve heard this bromide from people who want to encourage others to be more bold, or to justify their own failed behavior.

So does it hold true in dating?

Yes, it doesn’t hurt to try…

At the train station in Cheshire, England, officials erected a “No Kissing” sign since traffic stacked up while amorous lovers made out bidding each other good-bye.

It made me wonder about our own personal no-kissing zones. Although many (most?) daters don’t mind some PDA, there are places we’d rather not neck.

We like our friends, in part, because of who we are when we are with them. We feel we can relax and be our best self.

Unlike how we feel when we are around people who we find difficult, obnoxious or off-putting. Part of why we don’t like being around those folks is because we don’t like how we feel around them.

Another way to say this is: around our friends, our true self is called forth. We feel good, comfortable, relaxed.

It was great fun to be interviewed for "Girlfriend We Gotta Talk" radio show which aired Sunday. Download the show to listen to our lively 1/2-hour conversation. ______________________ If you…

Midlife singles often tell me that the biggest challenge with dating is getting a date in the first place. That isn’t what I see as the greatest obstacle, as you could easily go out with lots of people if you adjust your criteria.

In my experience, the biggest issue is finding someone interesting and engaging enough to see again (and they feel similarly), then building some traction. About half of the 110 men I’ve gone out with resulted in one-time-only meetings.