You’ve heard this bromide from people who want to encourage others to be more bold, or to justify their own failed behavior.
So does it hold true in dating?
Yes, it doesn’t hurt to try…
…to ask someone out for coffee who you’ve admired from afar, or even just met.
…to contact someone online who seems interesting.
…to show your interest in someone by asking about their life.
However, it does hurt to try…
…to kiss someone on the first date who hasn’t given you very clear signals they are interested, and/or who you haven’t asked if you could. You could ruin any chance of a second date as you could be seen as overly aggressive and inappropriate.
…to get too physical too soon — a hand on a thigh or too touchy. You could be perceived as disrespectful and crossing the other’s boundaries.
…to continue to pursue someone after they’ve said they aren’t interested. You’ll seem like you’re ignoring their wishes and even stalking.
So while some trying something bold can be positive, other times it can be harmful. When you hear yourself think, “It doesn’t hurt to try,” think through the options to see if it actually might hurt to try. If someone could respond negatively, seek alternatives.
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Want to understand more issues to consider on a first date? Get your copy of First-Rate First Dates: Increase the Chance of a Second Date.