Dating-over-40 advice by the Dating Goddess™
I sent this picture and to a mattress-salesman friend — who’s also a single hunk. I suggested this offer might help him sell more beds.
But aside from my smart alecness, it made me wonder if men saw this exchange similar to dinner and a dalliance. If the man buys the goods (lunch), he then gets the bonus (lovemaking). Buy a woman quiche, get a quickie. Some BBQ gets you a boff. A bit of food yields fornication. Din-din earns sin sin.
When dating, it’s common to get one’s hopes up at the beginnings of a new connection. If things go right at the start, we’re encouraged that the relationship will blossom.
But what if there are hiccups near the beginning? Giving grace is admirable. However, what if there are too many to continue with that forgiving attitude?
It’s upon us again.
Every year in the gloom of winter we fight the unwelcome bulges resulting from over-indulging in holiday treats. We trudge through rain, sleet and/or snow to our commitments, praying Spring will come early as relief.
Just as the world could not seem harder or bleaker, it sneaks up on us and stages an attack. We know we shouldn’t be caught off guard, as it happens every year, at the same time.
What is this dreaded event?
Long-time reader Richard sent me an email posing some interesting issues about how men and women see and need love and respect differently. Here’s part of our exchange.
I strongly believe if you know you’ve done something to cause another inconvenience or pain, you should acknowledge that with an apology.
What if there are too many apologies from someone you’re going out with? Or too few?
(Readers: Ghirardelli asked me to write about my take on delicious dating and integrate a few of their products — which I do love. But full disclosure — they did send me samples. I thought you’d like this.)
The prospect of dating after 40 can strike horror in the hearts of many women. Even though some look, feel and are better than when dating in their twenties, many don’t feel they look their best. They know true beauty is what’s inside, but they don’t feel they are given a chance when the media –and many midlife men — idolizes hard bodies and youthful faces.
So how do you make dating delicious?
Is seems universal that people find confidence attractive. But at what point does self-assurance cross the line to arrogance and thus become unattractive?
This week I was contacted by a self-described alpha male. These men are typically proud to be dominant, “my way or the highway” kind of guys. They consider compromise wimpy. They often rise to the top of their profession, sometimes by bullying, intimidation and manipulation.
For decades men have been disparagingly referred to as frogs. The opposite of a prince.
But what if you are being frog-like? Not in behavior, but in voice.
“A Tootsie-pop? Really?” you say.
You know, the kids’ treat.
“How can I, an accomplished, midlife woman, be like a Tootsie-pop?” you ask.
Good question. Let me explain.
Resolutions are not just declarations of what you wish you could accomplish. They are firm decisions, according to the dictionary. So as we enter 2012, what commitments, pledges and promises do you make to yourself about your dating activities?
Here are mine to get you started:
The holidays can feel lonely if you don’t have someone with whom to enjoy the season. No matter what you celebrate — or maybe you don’t celebrate anything — December is filled with reminders to be with loved ones.
What if you really miss having a special someone? You like to snuggle in front of a present-bedecked tree, but you have no one to snuggle. Or you enjoy lighting a menorah with a sweetie. Or maybe you love sharing holiday light viewing while walking hand in hand.
I have two suggestions for getting you through the holidays.
