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Are you like a Tootsie-pop?

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Dating Goddess

“A Tootsie-pop? Really?” you say.

You know, the kids’ treat.

“How can I, an accomplished, midlife woman, be like a Tootsie-pop?” you ask.

Good question. Let me explain.


In a conversation with a pal who’d like to be a suitor, he was explaining my appeal. “You have this tough, businesslike, ‘don’t mess with me’ exterior. But inside, you’re soft and gooey.”

“Like a Tootsie-pop!” I exclaimed.

“Exactly. Soft and delicious once you get past the hard shell.”

It got me thinking about how many other women are Tootsie-pop-like. We have developed a demeanor that shows we are not to be toyed with. Yet inside, we are vulnerable, soft and tender. Many men are intimidated by the exterior, so few get to see our gooey insides.

We know men find confidence attractive, but so is softness. So how do we balance the two? How do we allow the gooeyness to ooze through the hard shell so they will see we aren’t impenetrable?

I think the answer is the same as with the Tootsie-pop. The outer shell is only pierced after some time and attention. It’s not like a boxed chocolate piece — the inside easily accessed. No. With a Tootsie-pop, one must make a commitment to getting to the inside. It takes time. Biting through the exterior is not easy. You have to coax out the yummy center through prolonged contact.

And so it is with us Tootsie-pop gals. In order to access our soft, delicious center, a man has to commit some time to us and give us the attention we deserve.

Are you a Tootsie-pop woman? If so, why?

______________________

Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great CatchIn what other ways are you delicious? Download your copy of Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch

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About the Dating Goddess

After her 20-year marriage dissolved, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in 3.5 years. She shares her lessons, stories and advice for midlife women reentering the dating scene.

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