Awaiting the equivalent of a prom invitation

I don’t yet have a date invitation for New Year’s Eve. I’m in that dilemma some high school girls talk about where the prom is coming up and there are several possibilities. She really wants to be asked by her top guy, but she may be asked by the beta guy. If the beta guy asks first, what to do? Or what if the alpha guy doesn’t ask?

Here’s the adult (?) version.

  • I’ve had three dates with a charming, fun, retired police chief of a small — but internationally known — nearby city. We had a fun dinner and movie date Sat. night and talk to each other every day or so. I’m kinda thinking he’ll ask, but so far no invitation.
  • Last week I had a coffee date with a fun, smart product manager at a well-known Internet company. We laughed and had an interesting conversation. We’re having lunch today. He’d be my second choice, but we barely know each other.
  • And then there’s Bruce — sort of. Perhaps he would get on a plane so we could actually meet. We talk several times a week. So Bruce, when is it going to happen? New Year’s Eve? I’m not laying bets.

I asked my teenaged nieces what they would do if in a similar situation for the prom. They said if Internet Guy asks first, I should either accept his invitation or call The Chief before lunch and ask him.

I don’t like those options. I think I’ll just wait and see what happens and play it by ear. In fact, none of these guys may ask, so I may hang out with friends or be alone with some favorite DVDs or a book!

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15 responses to “Awaiting the equivalent of a prom invitation”

  1. Gatti Avatar

    I dislike the often forced gaiety of New Year’s Eve and always have. Don’t care for big parties and very often don’t even stay awake till midnight. The best one was cooking a meal with two other couples then playing board games, hilarious. Not an option this year, obviously.

    Theatre Man, my best prospect, bowed out of my life after an old flame called and he decided to pursue that. Scot Physicist, the next in line, is quite new and a bit far away, so I shall most likely spend New Year’s with my studio mate and her husband and have a nice time.

    People make such a big deal out of New Year’s Eve, is it really all that important?

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    New Year’s Eve, like any day, is only as important as you make it. So if you or I don’t have a date, it doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. I’d much rather hang with friends than endure an obnoxious date just to have a date.

    So, no matter what you end up doing, you always have a choice in how much you enjoy the evening or not.

  3. Christine Avatar

    I don’t think I would even consider Internet guy as an option. Police chief sounds like he may have more than one iron in the fire. He’s the most likely candidate to ask, but I think it’s getting kind of late for an invite to do anything more than relax in front of the TV. Nice job trying to smoke Bruce out! I’m awaiting his clever response! New Year’s Eve has always been a mixed bag for me. When I keep my expectations low, I always end up having so much more unexpected fun.

  4. Traci Avatar

    I don’t have a date either, but I’m not very worried about it. I’m just as happy spending the evening with myself (my kids will be with their dad).

  5. Aggressively Single Avatar
    Aggressively Single

    If you want to do something fun for New Years, don’t wait one more second for some arbitrary man you’ve slightly dated to call. Make plans with friends now – have them over for games or go out for dinner! I personally don’t really care about New Years as there are too many drunks on our icy roads here, but you can’t deny it is a clear how-important-are-you-to-the-guys-you-are-dating indicator. So none of these guys are right for you, Goddess. You are a Goddess, don’t wait for them!!!

  6. Dating Goddess Avatar


    I like how you think!

    No, I’m not waiting around. I have options. I will choose from what I feel most like doing — with or without a date! The Chief is unavailable as he’s got his kid that night, so I’ll likely spend the evening with some dear friends who were thoughtful enough to ask me to join them.

  7. Catherine Avatar

    I solved the problem of New Year’s Eve five years ago by joining the Tournament of Roses and helping to put on the Rose parade every year. Now I know I will have plans on New Year’s Eve and it will be fun and rewarding. This year I will be leading the City of Torrance’s float down the parade route! After too many years of the “What am I going to do on New Year’s” dilemma I found a permanent solution that suits me. Not every community has a Rose Parade, but most have some sort of opportunity to volunteer on that night. If nothing else you can volunteer at the homeless shelter and give a staffer there the night off, a priceless gift.

  8. Bruce Daley Avatar

    Dearest Dating Goddess:

    Even as a dark horse it is very flattering to be short listed with Chief Wiggum and Internet Guy for as New Years date. (a single marketing guy living in San Francisco? Have you had your gaydar tested recently?). I know how anxious you are to check me off the list, but I am cautious Goddess. Most women can only tempt a man with immorality but you offer immortality! I may be branded in the pages of history as number 76 your most insensitive, rude, and boring date yet (which – let’s be honest – is saying a lot).

    So let me propose this. I would like to know if your gentle readers think we should go out. Readers of this comment, if you would be kind enough to email me at the link above and let me know if a) you think we should go out, and b) any good reason for doing or not doing so it would be most appreciated. Second Goddess in the interest of fairness you must agree to grant me equal space in your blog to describe my version of our date. Does this sound fair to you?

    Smoking Bruce

  9. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Dearest Smoking Bruce:

    The Internet Guy is not in SF, so no need to tune up my gaydar.

    Anxious to check you off the list? Nay! Perhaps you will be the last man I date in my quest. 🙂

    Yes, immortality is yours already. You’ve been mentioned in this blog more than Dreamboat, Golf Addict, Rocket Man — or any other guy. We goddesses can do that immortality thing. Imagine how proud your kids will be to know that dad will go down in posterity — in a dating blog!

    I trust that you will be anything but “insensitive, rude, and boring.” You are funny, interesting, and self-aware. At least on the phone and email. And then there’s that buff low BMI index. How will I know if you have a six-pack and rippling muscles if we don’t meet? And you’ve told me several times what a good date you are. Now we just have to see if the hype matches reality.

    Is your reference to yourself as “Smoking” meant to tell us you are hot? Or that the fire has gone out?

    Sure, it will be interesting to see if DG readers think we should go out, but it is really our decision. Do you really want total strangers to determine if you will meet you potential soul mate or not? We both are people who determine our own destiny, not sit back and wait for others to decide.

    And regarding reviewing the date — you know that dating reviews are not the focus of this blog. Now, if you want to comment on something you learned about yourself after an evening with the Goddess, you are always welcomed to do that. Of course, I can always delete it. 🙂

  10. Bruce Daley Avatar

    There may be snow on the roof but there is still a fire down below.

  11. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Are you sure that’s fire — or just smoke?

  12. Christine Avatar

    Delighted to see that Bruce took the bait! And as expected, he furnished a very clever response! If you’re asking, I’m all for hearing about a dating adventure between you and Bruce. Sounds promising – at the very least it will make fabulous blog fodder! At its very best …well, we’ll leave that for you to tell.

  13. Elena Avatar

    Bruce: What’s the hold up? Arrange that first date with DG already! She has given you an incredible road map on how to get to know her, thanks to her blog. Some men would kill, or at least drop a large wad of cash on a shrink, to get such detailed, personalized insight into a woman’s perspective about dating. What have you got to lose? Nothing.

  14. Bruce Daley Avatar

    DG you can call me Smoking Bruce because:

    a) you are smoking me out,
    b) in some women’s eyes I have the potential to be smokin’
    c) i must be smoking my own dope to think about agreeing to this.

    Christina, Elena and other readers of this column, the reasons for my hesitations in dating DG are as follows:

    1) I will be what? The 74th or 75th guy she has gone out with? It is hard to imagine among those many suitors that I will be the handsomest, the kindess, the richest, and the most intelligent. In my estimation by dating so many men DG is not looking for the next Mr. DG but is on a voyage of self discovery.

    2) She is a wonderful person and I think of her as a good friend. If I french kiss her on the first date then that will be all over.

    3) If she is my soul mate then I am off the market, If we have a really terrible time, she is too good a writer not to make seem all my fault. You reading this comment might be my soul mate and by dating DG I will forever lose the opportunity to expore that.

  15. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Bruce, dearest:

    I would never lambaste you in a public forum. You may have noticed that none of the men mentioned are recognizable to anyone but themselves. However our date went, it would be shrouded in anonymity. Only you and I would know my comments were about you — unless you shared a comment about it. I wouldn’t want to ruin the possibility of your meeting your soul mate (assuming it’s not me) on my blog! (I can just see you explaining to your kids how you met: “I was commenting on a dating blog, and this woman just struck my interest, so ….” Not quite a cute meet.)

    And thanks for the compliment about my writing. However, you may have noticed, I tend to take some blame in the dates gone bad, so don’t just blast the guy.

    BTW, I am looking for my next Mr. DG, but decided early on to enjoy the quest. When I meet him (you?), he will be the handsomest, kindest, and most intelligent man of them all in my eyes. So there is still hope for you!

    Regarding #2, but what if I *want* you to passionately kiss me on the first date?