When a trophy wife or girlfriend is mentioned, it is often with derision and cattiness. We think of a beautiful, but often empty-headed woman attached to a rich, powerful, often older, unattractive man.
But what if you’re dating an attractive man? Not just a man you think is attractive, as we know a man’s attractiveness to us increases based on how he treats us and how we feel about him. But a man who others say is handsome, good looking, or even hot?
I had this experience last week when I was at my professional association convention. My friends asked why I looked so happy and I whipped out a pic of my beau. The most common response was, “Wow! He’s handsome.” Perhaps some were just being nice, but if a friend shows you a picture of an average-looking man, you are likely to mutter, “He looks like a nice man,” or “He has a kind face.” But you are not inclined to give his looks a higher rating than you feel.
So after a dozen reactions to his striking good looks, I felt compelled to add, “And he’s highly intelligent, extremely thoughtful, and treats me like a queen.” I didn’t want my friends thinking I was enamored with him only because he is hot. I felt obliged to let them know he was more than eye candy.
Not that I was apologizing for having a stunning beau. But I wanted my pals to know that I loved more about him beyond his looks.
Have you dated a gorgeous man who others recognized as such? If so, did you find yourself wanting to explain he had virtues deeper than his handsome features and/or buff body?
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Ive dated two or three very briefly, but they passed me over for prettier women. Never felt like apologizing to my friends about them being hunks or felt defensive.
I experienced this with my present boyfriend. I met him through a dating service called Great Expectations. I had seen his picture beforehand and found him very attractive. However, it was his profile that really intrigued me. He was more than just handsome. We talked via email / phone, and when I finally met him in person he was 10x’s more attractive than his picture. He’s not just eye candy – he’s an amazing guy. At first I wanted to tell everyone about his amazing qualities … besides just looks, but I realized that as friends and family got to know him there was no need for explanation.
I have to wonder sometimes if good looking men don’t have the same problems that good looking women do when it comes to finding a TRUE mate – not just someone that wants them for some kind of status-boost or whatever. I know that as a good looking women, I had MANY problems finding a guy that really wanted me for ME – and that sucked. I would think it would have to go both ways, and its awesome that you announce that to people – I bet that will get back to him and make him feel good.
Good luck in love, Vanessa