The trophy beau

When a trophy wife or girlfriend is mentioned, it is often with derision and cattiness. We think of a beautiful, but often empty-headed woman attached to a rich, powerful, often older, unattractive man.

But what if you’re dating an attractive man? Not just a man you think is attractive, as we know a man’s attractiveness to us increases based on how he treats us and how we feel about him. But a man who others say is handsome, good looking, or even hot?

I had this experience last week when I was at my professional association convention. My friends asked why I looked so happy and I whipped out a pic of my beau. The most common response was, “Wow! He’s handsome.” Perhaps some were just being nice, but if a friend shows you a picture of an average-looking man, you are likely to mutter, “He looks like a nice man,” or “He has a kind face.” But you are not inclined to give his looks a higher rating than you feel.

So after a dozen reactions to his striking good looks, I felt compelled to add, “And he’s highly intelligent, extremely thoughtful, and treats me like a queen.” I didn’t want my friends thinking I was enamored with him only because he is hot. I felt obliged to let them know he was more than eye candy.

Not that I was apologizing for having a stunning beau. But I wanted my pals to know that I loved more about him beyond his looks.

Have you dated a gorgeous man who others recognized as such? If so, did you find yourself wanting to explain he had virtues deeper than his handsome features and/or buff body?

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3 responses to “The trophy beau”

  1. Loving Annie Avatar

    Ive dated two or three very briefly, but they passed me over for prettier women. Never felt like apologizing to my friends about them being hunks or felt defensive.

  2. Sam Avatar

    I experienced this with my present boyfriend. I met him through a dating service called Great Expectations. I had seen his picture beforehand and found him very attractive. However, it was his profile that really intrigued me. He was more than just handsome. We talked via email / phone, and when I finally met him in person he was 10x’s more attractive than his picture. He’s not just eye candy – he’s an amazing guy. At first I wanted to tell everyone about his amazing qualities … besides just looks, but I realized that as friends and family got to know him there was no need for explanation.

  3. Vanessa Thomas Avatar

    I have to wonder sometimes if good looking men don’t have the same problems that good looking women do when it comes to finding a TRUE mate – not just someone that wants them for some kind of status-boost or whatever. I know that as a good looking women, I had MANY problems finding a guy that really wanted me for ME – and that sucked. I would think it would have to go both ways, and its awesome that you announce that to people – I bet that will get back to him and make him feel good.

    Good luck in love, Vanessa