For many women the answer to this question would be, “To find my next love/husband/mate.” I invite you to consider another possible definition.
If someone were to ask you, “What is your definition of success in life?” you would probably not answer, “To find my way to death.” Both definitions focus on the end result, not the process.
To the second question, you would probably answer something like, “To enjoy myself, laugh, grow, love, make a difference for others and live life fully.” You’d focus on enjoying the process, not on the end result. I believe the definition of successful dating needs to include appreciating the adventure.
Not that all aspects of the adventure are thrilling. Think of a trip you’ve taken to a destination you really wanted to visit. Did you like all parts of your journey to Paris? What about the long plane ride or the taxi trip to your hotel? Most of us wouldn’t consider these experiences particularly pleasurable. However, if you engage your seatmate on the plane, catch up on your sleep, and/or read an enthralling book, the journey is pleasurable.
Your trip from the airport can be interesting if you notice the people and architecture and query the cab driver on favorite non-touristy sites. It depends on what you make of the experience. I once had a grand time having a picnic in a Paris laundromat while doing my wash.
Consider defining dating success something along these lines:
“To enjoy meeting and getting to know some interesting men, broadening myself through new experiences, feeling the thrill of new romance, being willing to encounter the broad range of emotions from delight and love to disappointment and hurt, growing as a person and becoming more centered in what I want and who I am. And when the time is right, to meet my next long-term love.”
With this definition, you are bound to be successful. And when you do meet your guy, you will be so enticing he won’t ever want to let you go.
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