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When sexual electricity can scorch you

Posted on December 22, 2007December 21, 2007 by Dating Goddess

sexual fireHis smile ignites you. His touch sends currents up your spine. His kiss jolts you like you’ve been jump-started.

We dream — nay, fantasize — about this kind of sexual energy.

You are intoxicated by the charged feelings which blow the fuses of any rational thinking. You relish the feeling of the energy coursing through your body. It can be addicting, like a pyromaniac of passion. You’re ablaze in ardor — or is it just lust? Probably.

Yet if we’ve experienced it a few times, we also know it can scorch your heart when this sexual electricity surges too much too fast. Just like a bonfire can singe if you get too close for too long, your feelings can incinerate by burning too hot too quickly. Soon all that is left are embers — or worse, cold coals. And you wonder what happened to that once-blazing and romantic flame. Poof! Up in smoke.

Is it worth it to experience the red-hot fire of lust? If you don’t delude yourself into thinking that this spark will be fueled more than a few hours, days, or weeks. If you know it is temporary heat — and your partner does too — it can be exhilarating. Yet most of us aren’t able to be that detached, unplugging our emotions and tamping down hopes that this is kindling a long-term attraction.

But if you’re lucky, you might be able to fan the flames of this passion fire for many years, maybe even decades. Some have. Maybe you two will be among the lucky ones.

Unfortunately, for most of us, this sexual inferno leaves us burnt out on love — at least for a little while as we salve our charred heart.

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Category: Dating after 40, Dating chemistry, From fear to frolic: sex

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After her 20-year marriage dissolved, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in 3.5 years. She shares her lessons, stories and advice for midlife women reentering the dating scene.

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