My friend Susan Page offers relationship coaching through professionals she’s trained. She is the bestselling author of If I’m So Wonderful Why Am I Still Single? and her most recent book, Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage. I decided to sample her coaching to see if it was something I wanted to share with my DG readers.
I set up a time with Susan’s primary coach, Dr. Beverly Nelson, a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationship coaching. Susan and I decided I shouldn’t let on that I was a friend of hers so Beverly would be her normal self.
Wanting to have a realistic conversation, I chose to discuss my situation with my beau du jour.
I explained to Dr. Beverly that I’m unsure where I stand with him. We’ve had six dates, all of which I think have gone well. I know I have enjoyed his company and we seem to be getting closer. But I also know I’ve misread cues in the past, so don’t trust that I can tell. I shared that I work to be Zen-like in my relationships and not get attached too early if I can help it.
Men who are interested in me typically say something at the end of a date like, “I’ll call you,” or “Let’s get together this weekend,” or something that suggests a future rendezvous. Last night when we parted, I said, “Talk to you soon,” and he just said, “Okay,” not “I’ll call you tomorrow.” His pattern is to call a few days afterward and set up something.
Today I emailed him a link to something we’d discussed and said I’d had a good time with him. I haven’t heard from him, but that isn’t unusual for him.
I asked Dr. Beverly what she thought the next course of action should be, if any. She asked if I’d initiated contact with him in the nearly 4 weeks we’ve been seeing each other. I said I called him occasionally, and had him over for dinner Tuesday night. I’ve also invited him to a professional meeting that he’s showed interest in, and a sculptor friend’s show opening. She was pleased I had proffered these invitations, even though he has yet to accept the last two.
In the end, she thought I should stay the course, work at not getting too attached until we’ve had more time together, and if after a few more weeks I’m still not clear on where I stand with him, then initiate the “relationship” conversation. Not the “Where is this relationship going?” discussion, but one around “How are you feeling about me and us? Are you seeing anyone else? Are you interested in seeing others or just focusing on each other?” Frankly, I couldn’t have said it better myself, as this was what I would have told others!
If I wanted to go beyond the initial conversation, we would work to identify and end negative relationship patterns so I would break free of any limiting self-talk and behaviors.
I highly recommend this service if you are wanting to talk through your relationship issues, or feel stuck, angry or bitter about any past relationship, or feel you are repeating some ineffective patterns in your dating. Her fees are very reasonable for a professional coach, especially one with a Ph.D. in psychology.
Susan and I have even arranged a special initial free consultation — with no obligation or pressured sales pitch — for any Dating Goddess readers who want to see if this coaching might be right for you. When you make contact by phone or email, just say you are a Dating Goddess reader, and there will be no charge for the initial call.
To make your appointment, call 510/843-2111 (24 hour voice mail) or email Susan Page’s Coaching Director, Dr. Beverly Nelson at DocBeverly@aol.com and she’ll get back to you and schedule a time for your free initial consultation.