DG reader Terri writes: The middle-aged man I’ve been seeing for a few months is Mr. Spontaneity. He rarely plans anything in his life more than a day in advance, including our getting together. Last week he called me as he was leaving his house — 45-minutes away — and asked if I would have…
Assessing your assets
Is it persuasion, manipulation or enticement?
Persuasion: a means of persuading someone to do something Manipulate: control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously Entice: attract or tempt by offering pleasure or advantage Yesterday, I was accused of trying to manipulate someone. It threw me for a loop as that was 180% opposite of my intention. Truth be…
Are you making bad decisions out of loneliness?
Nearly every unpartnered person gets lonely sometimes. If you long for more social interaction, you will do nearly anything to connect with other human beings. I think it’s why so many people hang out in bars, Starbucks, or the library. (See “What’s your ‘need for affiliation’?“) I didn’t understand why anyone could get any work…
He wants to get sexual — online!
A DG reader writes: This has happened a few times so am wondering if it is just me, or is common with midlife guys — or just midlife guys on online dating sites. We begin a fun banter via email or IM. I don’t get dirty with them, just playful. Some time passes — anywhere…
Making your own happiness
Yesterday was my birthday. When your birthday approaches, do you ask yourself, “What do I want?” Not just tangible presents, but what would make you happy not only on that day, but in life? I do. Approaching my birthday, I decided I wanted to spend it with King Charming. Since I didn’t expect him to…
Becoming besotted
Are you easily beguiled? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? Are you prone to become prematurely smitten? Or are you more cautious, perhaps bordering on detached, especially early on in dating someone? You keep your heart sheltered for as long as possible? Then you either succumb to being moonstruck or lose interest as…
Is he willing to be vulnerable?
Women typically say they want a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them, and with whom they can be the same. I’ve dated some men for months who never shared a vulnerable thought, even if I asked about his hopes, fears, dreams and regrets. Nothing. So I was pleased that a man I’ve…
Has your guy been metro-ed?
Metro — as in metrosexual. According to Dictionary.com metrosexual, or metro, describes “a heterosexual male who has a strong aesthetic sense and inordinate interest in appearance and style, similar to that of homosexual males.”UrbanDictionary.com includes the following description: “Mint (great) guys who are SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) and follow the following rules: dress hot…
Yes, it is all about you
Yesterday, Price Considerate shared that in a moment of candor one of his mentees disclosed he was first put off by PC, in part because that day PC’s shoes didn’t match his pants. PC explained to him that sometimes he doesn’t pay as much attention to those details as he should, but he didn’t get…
The man-sieve
Unless you live in a remote area, there are eligible, age-appropriate single men all around you. You have developed a filter for either attracting them or not, or accepting or rejecting date requests. Before you began dating you may have said, “I don’t really know what I want, so I’ll go out with anyone who…
Giving and receiving emotional support
“My ex-girlfriend wanted me to support her emotionally, but she didn’t do the same in return,” my sweetie shared. “Hmm. I’m not sure I’d know the signs that someone was wanting emotional support unless they were crying or upset. What are the signs you want or need emotional support?” I asked. “Good question. I don’t…