In relationships — even dating relationships — you often discover behaviors in the other that drive you batty. These behaviors aren’t deal breakers, just minor annoyances. So you non-judgmentally share your irritation with your guy and ask him if he would be willing to work on reducing this. He is accommodating, apologizes for it whatever…
Month: November 2007
Does he know what turns you on?
Does the guy you’re dating know what turns you on? Or does he make assumptions based on what turns him on? Today I received a bawdy video emailed from an old beau turned friend. It was clips of naked, buxom women playing various sports — gymnastics, calisthenics, etc. He thought it would turn me on….
Being played by a pathological liar
I think of myself as a good judge of character. I usually trust my gut and can often feel when something isn’t right. If something doesn’t make sense, I question it. While I generally trust people and look for the good in them, I am also skeptical. I am not easily fooled. But he did…
What kind of tree are you?
Spending six days over the holiday with a two-decade-married couple gave me ample opportunity to watch their relationship up close for days on end. Usually when we visit friends or relatives we spend from several hours to a few days with them. When others are around, most of us are on our best behavior. Only…
The downsides of always getting your way
We’ve discussed how a mature, sane man generally wants to make you happy. But how can always getting what you want make you unhappy? A fellow strong woman and I were discussing this recently. “While I appreciate that my man is interested in making me happy, sometimes it can be a weight,” she shared. “In…
Thanks for unknown blessings to come
“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” ~Native American prayer Since it’s Thanksgiving week here in the US, this quote held significance for not only giving thanks for treasures already in our lives — our families, bounty and life — but also for dating. One of the fun things about dating is not…
“The Bachelor” mirrors real life
Before you say, “DG, are you crazy? The Bachelor is totally contrived,” hear me out. I’m not saying it’s not artificial, nor that much of it parallels real life. In fact, I admit to only watching 2 episodes this season, and none of any previous season. I mean having 25 women live in a mansion…
“Men aren’t trained in emotions”
Not exactly a news flash. But since this was uttered by a midlife male pal who I adore, I wanted to hear more on his perspective. He’s been dating about 3 years after his divorce from a long-term marriage. We were talking about why it’s so hard for a man to tell a woman he…
Giving and receiving emotional support
“My ex-girlfriend wanted me to support her emotionally, but she didn’t do the same in return,” my sweetie shared. “Hmm. I’m not sure I’d know the signs that someone was wanting emotional support unless they were crying or upset. What are the signs you want or need emotional support?” I asked. “Good question. I don’t…
Is your guy “spoilable”?
We’re usually more concerned with dealing with a man who is spoiled — self-centered, immature, and thoughtless. Ditch those guys immediately. I’m talking about the opposite — someone who is so other-focused that it is hard for him to receive. Most of us — at least me — like to be spoiled once in a…
Easy way to ask hard questions
Some people find it difficult to ask probing questions to uncover their date’s values, beliefs and preferences. Enter Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers To Be, a book designed to help you easily dive into potentially difficult conversational waters. The book is designed to be used by both of you. It is broken up…