“You’ll never meet another guy like me” he said confidently during our first phone call.
I refrained from saying “Duh. Everyone’s unique,” but I decided it would be better to play along. I wanted to see what he thought was unique. “How so?” I asked, curious about what he’d say.
“How many men have you met who retired at 44?” said the 51-year-old, 27-year military veteran.
“A few,” I said truthfully.
“How many men have you met who have no children around, no drama from ex-wives and no money issues?”
“Not many,” I replied, feeling I should throw him a bone.
“I’m healthy, STD-free, and work out regularly. I can do whatever I want when I want.”
“You are a rarity,” I cooed, now clear he was seeking acknowledgement.
But why was he selling himself so hard? We’d already laughed and seemed to be getting along nicely. Did he feel he had to convince me to have coffee with him? I didn’t feel there was a need for a sales job.
I realize I can be intimidating to a lot of men, so I’ve learned to be nice and as gracious as I can. I don’t want to be intimidating, but I find many men are not used to talking to an articulate, focused, present woman. So I try to put them at ease and give them some slack so they don’t have to try to impress me on the first call.
When people try a bit too hard it backfires. They want to impress you, but by trying to do so they actually seem needy and less confident than they are intending.
Does overselling indicate someone is compensating? Often. They don’t realize that others are actually more impressed by how someone treats them and behaves around them than by being told what a terrific person they are.
Have you been on the receiving end of someone trying too hard? How did you handle it? Have you ever found yourself trying a bit too much?
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