When one has been single and dating around for a while, it’s easy to make life choices around that single status. When you don’t have a sweetie, it’s hard to think in terms of “us” and “we” since that isn’t your current situation.
Yet if you are actively seeking a partner you want to make decisions that will be inclusive of having someone regularly in your life.
This was the attitude I’ve adopted as I begin a master bath remodel. It would be easy to think, “I don’t need a big bathtub because it’s only me.” It takes some future thinking to say, “I want a two-person tub and two shower heads” when right now it’s only you.
When you explain your needs to suppliers, they immediately assume you’re in a relationship so ask how tall your partner is, and other questions that seem natural to help you make decisions. It’s a tad awkward to say, “I don’t know how tall he is because I haven’t found him yet.”
In some circles, this attitude is called “holding the space” for the possibility to become reality. If you close the space — mental as well as physical — it will be harder for someone to come into your life. For example, I have empty drawers on my ex’s side of the bedroom so when a new man enters my life, he’ll know I have planned for him to be there without my having to rearrange my life.
Of course, I will have to rearrange parts of my life. But if I can move forward with him in mind, he will fit more easily.
Does this mean I would plan for my beloved to move in with me? Not necessarily. But there would be some period where we share each others’ space. And when that happens, I want my home to be as comfortable and accommodating to both our needs as possible.
And who knows, he may have an even bigger tub and dual shower heads!
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Are you mentally ready to allow someone new into your life? To help you explore this, order your copy of Date or Wait: Are You Ready for Mr. Great?