I discreetly turned to see who made this statement and saw an average-looking, middleaged woman at the table behind me at Starbucks talking to a gal pal about dating. She was wearing a low-cut camisole emphasizing 3 inches of cleavage and black bra straps showing underneath the spaghetti straps.
I made a snap assessment linking her comment and her cleavage.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with a gal pal when I was preparing for dating three years ago. I said I was going to invest in some low-cut tops to attract guys. My wise friend said, “If you show too much too soon, you’ll only attract guys who are interested in your cleavage, not you.” In other words sex-obsessed players.
Somehow this concept escaped the 50ish woman behind me. She wondered why she only attracted players. Might it be that she looked like someone who was interested in attracting sexual offers? I think yes.
If I get attention in person from men I don’t want to attract, I look at my “advertising” — my attire. Now, I realize some guys will hit on nearly any woman who wears a smile. But if I seem to get a rash of flirts and comments accompanied by leers, I think I’ve dressed a bit more provocatively than optimal.
Sporting lots of cleavage, bare midriffs and leg are the fashion now. I am by no means a prude, but wonder if by wearing this kind of clothing women are sending signals to men they don’t really want to attract. Not that we should wear always cover up with turtlenecks, long sleeves, and shapeless pants. Ugh!
Women argue that we ought to be able to wear whatever we want and be liked only for our personality. Yet the women who leave little to the imagination wonder why they mostly attract men who are sexually aggressive, and leave soon after a roll or two in the hay.
Have you noticed you attract a different kind of man if you show a bit more skin than not? What’s your opinion on this?
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