I loved being a Girl Scout. On meeting days I proudly wore my uniform to school and voraciously earned many badges to decorate my sash.
Recently, I thought about how The Girl Scout Law affects my dating — and of course, my life philosophy.
The Girl Scout Law
I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.
One of The Girl Scout Law concepts came up in a discussion the other day with my new beau (See “The art of wooing is not dead“). Last week he’d sent me a picture of him with a goatee. I commented how good it looked on him, and how I thought goatees were sexy. The next time I saw him, he was starting a goatee! (It really does look good on him.)
He also wears glasses. Without them, his pretty eyes are more prominent. I casually asked if he’d ever worn contacts, which he said he had. He asked why I asked, and I told him his eyes were pretty and they stood out more when he didn’t wear his glasses. He said he’d update his contact prescription and start wearing them when we went out.
I am sensitive to couples trying to change each other. I am torn between just liking a man as he is or suggesting little tweaks that he doesn’t see and would make him more attractive, effective, or successful. But I’m clear that one shouldn’t try to remold a man to become someone he isn’t.
However, The Girl Scout Law line of “I will do my best to make the world a better place” I think applies to the guy you are dating if you can suggest small modifications that will be better for him in the long run. When I was in Girl Scouts, I remember the concept as “leaving any situation better than you found it.” That could be picking up trash on a trail, cleaning off a dirty table, or giving someone a sincere compliment.
So if you suggest something that you like but isn’t a fit for his personality or job, that is not being “considerate and caring,” another of the tenets, nor “respecting others” — him.
Perhaps we could modify The Girl Scout Laws to be “The Positive Dating Laws” as they seem to fit dating perfectly.
Do you follow any of The Girl Scout Law concepts in dating?
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I was a Girl Scout too, DG, and I’d forgotten what a good plan for living the Law is. I shall remember that in future situations!
Re: Changing your guy – I dated a guy about four times a few years ago and from the first date I was itching to change things. What he did to his hair, for example, was appalling, did nothing for him, caused people to comment abusively, but he seemed to like that way. He was actually kind of cute, but the hair…no. So I started dropping hints (well, maybe more than hints…), but I realized that I was being bossy and sort of manipulative and made myself stop.
He really wasn’t the guy for me anyway, and I broke it off. But since I started dating again I’ve remembered how I felt about myself, wanting to change someone to the way *I* wanted, whenever those thoughts have come up with other people. And then I stoped and ask myself “If I don’t like this or that so much, should I really be here?”. I think it helps from making too many compromises in relationship.