In talking with a married gal pal, we discussed how sometimes it is hard to bring up difficult issues to your mate. I shared that there were things in my marriage that I wish I’d brought up, but instead kept them to myself. She agreed that she was withholding some difficult topics in her relationship as well.
However, in dating there is a freedom to bring up challenging topics. Often the reason you wouldn’t bring something up is because the risks are too great — you’re afraid of losing him or damaging the relationship irreparably. But when you’re dating, there is less risk, as if he responds poorly to the topic being brought to the table, he’s not a good match for you if you like to discuss things openly.
So not to bring something up out of fear is not doing either of you a favor. You withhold something you’d really like to discuss, and he misses the opportunity to explore it with you and find out what’s on your mind. If he responds angrily (assuming you aren’t blaming him or accusing him), he’s not able to discuss difficult issues rationally and maturely. Wouldn’t you rather know that early in the relationship rather than after you’ve invested months in this guy? I would.