Butt envy

Junk in the trunk. Flat. Round. Taut. Soft. Sagging. Dimpled. Some have shelves on the top, others underneath. You could bounce a quarter off a few. So many sizes and shapes.

Songs have been written about buns. “Baby’s got back” is a high compliment in some circles.

People can be derrière devotees. Caboose connoisseurs. Ass aficionados.

So much so that they mention their preferences in their dating profiles. I’m told some women feature their keister in their profile pics.

I had an epiphany about rumps in exercise class the other day. Being tall, I purposefully stand near the back. Which opens up a sea of keisters jiggling — or not — before me. I observe, like a scientist, the various sizes, shapes and textures.

Unless you’ve seen photos of your behind, most of us have only a rough sense of how our tush looks to others. We know if it is large or small, flat or round, but most of this assessment is from the side or at an awkward angle. Unless you have a 3-way mirror in your house, you only occasionally see your heinie the way others do when you are in a store dressing room.

Many of us don’t think about our bum a lot, unless we’re trying on a new garment or have a hard time zipping pants that fit fine when you wore them a few months ago. The common question, “Do these make my butt look big?” is posed because we are concerned about how we look from the back, and have few opportunities to see for ourself.

I’ve heard women say a man isn’t attractive because he had “no butt.” A friend dated his last girlfriend largely because she had junk in her trunk. I find it interesting that a body part that we seldom see for ourself has such allure to others.

Do you find yourself drawn to specific posterior types? So much so that your fondness overshadows other characteristics? Or have you been turned off by less or more in the buns department? Do you feel your own tushie is a liability or an asset?

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5 responses to “Butt envy”

  1. devon Avatar

    I prefer men with slim hips and a small posterior. Always have.

  2. Richard Avatar

    I’m not drawn to a particular type, but a double wide is not my cup of tea.

  3. Mike Lowrey Avatar

    I don’t discriminate I can work with slim or thick booty girls, but I do draw the line at hefty. It your booty is just big, wide and flat… I’ll pass.

    Being a Black guy I do prefer a booty that I can sit my drink on.
    You know the “Buffie the Body” kind of girl.
    But if you have a small butt it’s still cool.
    My eyes have been opened recently and I can now appreciate smaller booty women.

    There’s no doubt that the hotter a woman is the more guys will put up with. Not just booty but the whole package.
    For example if a woman looks like Scarlett Johansson then she can have the annoying voice of Rosie Perez, likes to eat flies and be completely broke….I’ll still marry her and be in all types of love with her. I’d tear her up at least 3 times day and you wouldn’t hear a peep out of my happy lil derrière.

    As for me, I was told by a woman I dated that I have a Taye Diggs butt.
    I took it as a nice compliment (even though I can’t stand the dude).
    My butt is small but women have always paid me compliments on it so I’m ok with it.

  4. Karen Avatar

    Men always say they love my butt–I’ve got a “bubble butt”. I hated the attention it got me when I was a teen, and it’s hard to find pants that fit right, but I now like it!

    A nice round but small butt is very nice on a man—but anything that isn’t huge is OK. Womanly curves = not OK on a man!

  5. Betty Smorgas Avatar

    I envy my own butt. Confusing, I know. It mocks me, though. My revenge is to expose it publicly, like at the bank. Woops! My pants just came off. Damn you, Butt! I’m not going to wipe you for a week.