I mean grace in this sense: mercy, clemency, lenience, pardon, consideration, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, courteous goodwill. At the beginning of any relationship, there are ups and downs. In “What’s your date’s score on the Delight/Disappointment Scale?” I discuss how you want to notice when your date delights and disappoints you. The point is not to…
Dating after 40
Do you want an “E-Ticket” guy?
If you visited Disneyland or Disney World before 1982, you remember what an “E-Ticket” was. If you don’t, it refers to the entrance tickets for the park’s most thrilling or interesting rides, like the Matterhorn bobsled, and other state-of-the-art activities. If you were a normal kid, you loved the E-Ticket rides. As a 10-year-old, I…
After the breakup, what if you miss him?
No matter if you broke up with him or he with you, after a while — days, weeks, months — you may begin to miss him. The horrible things he said or did may fade and only the good parts are remembered. His sweet kisses, great sense of humor, thoughtfulness, and generosity are increasingly on…
When he tells you he loves you
You’ve been dating a guy for a little while — no more than a month. You get along great, enjoy your time together, and perhaps have had a sleepover (or two). But you’re just getting to know each other, and you aren’t even sure if you’re interested in him long-term, although you enjoy his company….
Is his toothbrush in your cabinet too soon?
Does the guy you’re dating leave personal items at your place — without asking? Two men have done this at my house. The latest was after a second sleepover, but unbeknownst to me. During his third visit I asked if he wanted a toothbrush or if he brought one. He said, “I left one here…
Does your guy have friends?
A guy’s friends — or lack thereof — tells you a lot about him. After you’ve dated a guy a time or two, mentions of his friends often waft into the conversation. When you hear him talk about both male and female friends, it is a good sign — at least it can be, depending…
Does he share your POV?
POV — That’s film-industry shorthand for “point of view shot.” When the camera shows what a character sees, that’s their POV. We see the scene through their eyes. Wouldn’t it be great if we could occasionally see our date’s POV? To access his perspective, how he sees things? And wouldn’t you like to share your…
Fun midlife date ideas
In today’s San José Mercury News, I was quoted in an article on “Summer’s Worth of Dates: 13 Places to go for Romantic Rendezvous.” The reporter, Mark de la Vina, has interviewed me for other articles, so we began by exploring why so many people’s primary idea for a date seems to be dinner and…
Are you out of his league — or he yours?
“I’m out of your league” sounds so snooty, snotty, and superior. You’re looking down your nose at the other, saying he isn’t good enough for you. A potential suitor once emailed me, “You’re so far out of my league that I wouldn’t be allowed in the stadium where your league plays. I can only play…
Ignore dating rule #1 at your peril
Rule #1 actually applies to life, not just dating. It earned its exalted status as #1 during a family reunion. It was day two of the three-day reunion. Already those with “strong” (e.g., obnoxious) personalities were starting to get to some of us. A handful of us met for breakfast just to have some non-irritating…
Host a singles mingle
A pal is having a divorce party soon when his paperwork is final. His divorce was amicable, so he would be celebrating his new-found singledom. I suggested it might be fun to turn it into a singles mingle event. He said, “That would be boring, as I’d have a house full of guys.” Me: “You…