Host a singles mingle

singles partyA pal is having a divorce party soon when his paperwork is final. His divorce was amicable, so he would be celebrating his new-found singledom. I suggested it might be fun to turn it into a singles mingle event.

He said, “That would be boring, as I’d have a house full of guys.”

Me: “You don’t know any single women?”

He: “Not many. I’ve been married for a while!”

Me: “Tell your friends to bring single women.”

He: “Like they know any. That’s why we hang out together! None of them can get dates!”

Me: “I heard an idea where your ticket into the party is to bring a single person of the opposite sex who you think is great, but isn’t a match for you.” (I heard about this idea a long time ago, but then it was featured in a Sex and the City episode.)

He: “So you bring someone you dated but it didn’t work out?”

Me: “It could be someone you dated, or it could just be a friend you think is terrific, but not for you.”

He: “Does it need to be someone interested in dating?”

Me: “Well, that’s the purpose. I wouldn’t bring a guy I knew wasn’t interested in dating.”

He: “Could they bring folks who can’t get a date?”

Me: “You want to have a house full of terrific people, not those with low social skills.”

He: “But how could I also invite my coupled friends? They’re my friends, too and I want to be able to invite them to the party.”

Me: “Sure. You could have a way of signifying who was available and who wasn’t. Maybe a red dot on their shirt for “taken” and a green one for “available.”

He: “Well, this is sounding more interesting with the prospect of some interesting, hot women to balance my buds.”

Me: “Maybe you’ll invite me!”

If he does, I’ll report how it went!

Have you been to a party like this? If so, how did it work?

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9 responses to “Host a singles mingle”

  1. Bookyone Avatar

    Hi DG,

    No, I haven’t been to a party of any kind in years, not since I was a teenager, everyone I know is married and boring. It sounds like fun though. Do let us know how it goes. 🙂

    Best wishes from bookyone 🙂

  2. Cupertino Avatar

    A friend and I organized a party just like this about 12 years ago — each person (all unattached, no couples) was instructed to bring someone of the opposite sex who was also unattached.

    What really surprised me was the number of women we invited who complained, “But I don’t know any single men.” We got so many of these complaints that finally we said to them, “Fine. Then you just come by yourself.”

    It worked out to about the same number of men and women after all. We had an icebreaker activity and a couple of other fun things, but it was mostly a chance for people to meet and talk.

    I know of only one couple who met at the party who ended up dating for a while
    . They’re not still a couple, but they are still very close friends.

    So I don’t know how “successful” the party was in that regard, but it was a fun evening. Knowing that everyone is “eligible” makes for a good energy.

  3. Bruce Daley Avatar

    So what you are suggesting is sort of a sexless orgy where everyone keeps their their clothes on?

  4. Paulette Avatar

    Hmmm, wonder what was in the air about 12 years ago. After attending one of these parties, I threw one — about 12 years ago. It was called a “Bring a Boy” Party (it was about the alliteration, folks!). All the guys were asked to bring something liquid and all the women to bring a desert or appetizer. I supplied the serving items. About 50 people showed up on a Sunday afternoon at my home and we had a great time. There were a few couples who hooked up. I haven’t stayed in touch over these years to find out where it all went from there. It was quite an interesting group of people, including my former husband and three guys I had dated, all of whom remained my friends once we were no longer coupled. Each woman brought at least one guy, and it all turned out to be a very balanced event as far as both gender and food were concerned. Maybe it’s time to throw another one of these, on this other coast where I now live.

  5. Aggressively Single Avatar
    Aggressively Single

    I also threw one of these parties years ago with a group of girlfriends. We called it “the brighter the bolder the better party”, and everyone had to wear something very bright and wear a tag that described the boldest thing they’d ever done (skydived, skiied naked, scuba dove in the artic). The tags were an awesome icebreaker. We also had a DJ and low-cost catered food, and we each invited every single guy pal (cast-offs) we had, and had them invite a woman. The guy someone brought for me liked another and they ended up getting married and having 3 kids. Just a note – 2 of the guys I invited didn’t get the concept and each thought they were my date. It was pretty fun, and a very fun party. In fact, the police ended up stopping by twice to ask us to turn the music down! Have one!

  6. Rachel Sarah Avatar

    Great idea!! I like the addition of drinks/appetizers, too.

    I’m thinking that it might work for single parents, too — hire a couple of babysitters for the kids, and put them all in a fun room/converted garage to play for a few hours…. While the adults mingle.

    You’re inspiring me. Thanks.

  7. Ellen Avatar

    Ah, this is sooooo timely! I have a women’s group made of ladies who are using online dating sites to meet guys, you know that coffee date after coffee date after coffee date!!! I hate coffee dates and thought, why not go back to the “old” way of meeting in public at an event! So, I advertised on a dating site for guys who wanted to meet my ladies at a cocktail party at a local club with no cover charge and it was magic! Great guys, lots of fun and dancing, good band, and a very cheerful crowd! I did a second party and it was even better! Now, I’m inviting the Party List Guys to meet us at a free Concert in the Park (bring your own dinner and ladies will supply desserts), thinking that some guys who wouldn’t go to a club might be more comfortable at such a Concert. It’s soooo easy and I’ve lots of positive comments from the guys!

    You can check out the details of the parties in MY blog at

    xo Ellen

  8. Fred G Avatar
    Fred G

    I was invited to one. Though the woman that invited me failed to inform me of the nature of the event until I got there. I think she was cheating (bringing someone in whom she was potentially interested).

    I did have a great time, met a few nice people and actually was invited to a weekly rolling dinner group by a future good friend that I met.

    One never knows….

    They are fun and the gender ratio is right.

  9. Cindy C. Avatar
    Cindy C.

    We all know that the army travels on its stomach, it’s the quickest way to a man’s heart… Back in 1974, 6 of us (3 men and 3 women) wanted a singles group of young, educated singles – we began with a Friday-after-Thanksgiving leftovers recycle in one member’s home; and each of us invited 2 or 3 other friends (mostly single parents). We had a blast ! We ate each other’s leftovers, rolled back the rug, and danced to Neil Diamond. That party (about 25 celebrants) was so successful that we decided to have another, between Christmas and New Year’s, where everyone was to bring an exchangable white elephant gift to put under the tree, plus potluck the dinner. We invited the 25 from Thanksgiving and told them to bring similar, educated, caring, friends. By then our data base was up to 100 people, all local, all fascinating, everyone just one handshake away from everyone else. We charged $ 1 for host’s expenses, put out a monthly newsletter, and managed about two house parties per month for about 5 years until I (who became the leader) left the area. Thirty-three years hence, those folks are still some of my best friends. We had beach trips, kiddie pumpkin carves, cheesecake tastings, guys-do-the-cooking nights, you name it. A great big extended family. Yes, there were some serious relationships that developed out of the group; but most important was the feeling of family, of people to help you with electrical repairs, sewing, childcare, you name it. I think that the potlucking was crucial — you had to make a true investment of time, creativity and a bit of cash toward your contribution to the enjoyment of the group. If an event is catered, you just pay your $$ and say, “Okay – entertain me !” which does not encourage the spirit of giving. BTW, I am nearly 67, a grandma, still single, but found a lovely man on-line half a continent away. He plans to move here as soon as he sells his classic auto collection. So don’t give up on the Internet – but try a potluck with your best friends and have them invite others. Food, food, food ! Physical pleasures ! Yum !