A guy’s friends — or lack thereof — tells you a lot about him. After you’ve dated a guy a time or two, mentions of his friends often waft into the conversation. When you hear him talk about both male and female friends, it is a good sign — at least it can be, depending…
Are you ready for Mr. Great?
Does he share your POV?
POV — That’s film-industry shorthand for “point of view shot.” When the camera shows what a character sees, that’s their POV. We see the scene through their eyes. Wouldn’t it be great if we could occasionally see our date’s POV? To access his perspective, how he sees things? And wouldn’t you like to share your…
Fun midlife date ideas
In today’s San José Mercury News, I was quoted in an article on “Summer’s Worth of Dates: 13 Places to go for Romantic Rendezvous.” The reporter, Mark de la Vina, has interviewed me for other articles, so we began by exploring why so many people’s primary idea for a date seems to be dinner and…
Ignore dating rule #1 at your peril
Rule #1 actually applies to life, not just dating. It earned its exalted status as #1 during a family reunion. It was day two of the three-day reunion. Already those with “strong” (e.g., obnoxious) personalities were starting to get to some of us. A handful of us met for breakfast just to have some non-irritating…
Host a singles mingle
A pal is having a divorce party soon when his paperwork is final. His divorce was amicable, so he would be celebrating his new-found singledom. I suggested it might be fun to turn it into a singles mingle event. He said, “That would be boring, as I’d have a house full of guys.” Me: “You…
Are you assessing — or judging — your date?
These terms are often used interchangeably. However, I see a difference. Assessing is when you notice things about him. He’s 6-feet tall, blue eyed, with dark curly hair. He has a little paunch, slouches, and interrupts often. He makes eye contact and speaks clearly. Judging is when you put a value on what you see….
Are you date sated — or hungry?
Sate: satisfy (a desire or an appetite) to the full; supply (someone) with as much as or more of something than is desired or can be managed. You know not to grocery shop when you are hungry as you’ll be tempted to take home things that aren’t really good for you. The same is true…
Eliciting your friends’ reactions to your guy
After dating a guy a while, you want to introduce him to your friends. You’re hoping they’ll see how terrific he is. But what if they don’t? You are torn between wanting to know what they think … and not. Some women defend their man if their friends say anything negative about him. But what…
Turn your liabilities into assets
Years ago I led a seminar on how to have a positive attitude at work. In the text, Attitude: Your Most Priceless Possession, author Elwood Chapman suggests employing the “Flipside Technique.” The concept is to take something not commonly considered good and reframe it as a positive, injecting a dose of humor when necessary. We’ll…
Fresh out of men?
When you find yourself out of prospective dates, wouldn’t it be great if you could just go to the store and pick up what you want? Were it that easy. In “Shopping for men” I described how sometimes you have to be creative and patient in your search. DG reader Stephanie writes, “What happens when…
What is your attire telling your dates?
Is what you wear on the first few dates with a guy sending the messages you want? Do you find men relate to you differently than you’d like? It may not be them — it may be signals you’re sending through your appearance. When I began dating again I thought I had to wear what…