Many years ago I heard a speaker state that 95% of communication in a romantic relationship should be acknowledgment. In other words, most of what you say to each other should be positive, complimentary and affirmative of the other. This made me look at my own communication with my then husband. I didn’t track the…
Are you ready for Mr. Great?
Slow down, you move too fast
Yesterday, I spent time with a colleague I hadn’t seen in a long time. I knew he had been online dating so was interested in an update. He had decided to run his dating life similarly to how he runs his business. He’d troll for suitable prospects on dating sites, then send an email to…
Dating alchemy
A newly dating gal pal called and wanted some advice. She’s recently become a DG reader and was sharing her few experiences getting her feet wet. As we chatted and I spewed my advice, I felt like a mix of psychologist and Chinese herbalist. But instead of prescribing a pinch of this and a dollop…
What makes midlife dating different?
I’m often asked what makes dating in midlife different than dating in your 20’s and 30’s — at least for women. While I know the following are gross generalizations and there are always exceptions, here’s what I’ve come up with: Having more/any biological kids is past. Most people are finished with the early part of…
How are you about receiving gifts from your guy?
It’s my birthday! Since my sweetie’s work week ends at noon today he’s flying in this afternoon to take me on a dinner/dance cruise and spend his “weekend” with me. But you already know how thoughtful he is. (See “The art of wooing is not dead.”) The other day he told me he’d been shopping…
Should you seek feedback on why it didn’t work out?
I’m sometimes asked why my multi-week relationships didn’t work out. If the guy released me, I don’t really know so can only guess. I’ve been asked, “What did the guy say when he broke up with you?” The truth is, most of them have just gone poof, even after seeing each other 5-7 weeks. Very…
The first fight
New relationships frequently end over a first fight. Sometimes there isn’t even an actual fight, but one of you says/does/doesn’t do something that upsets the other and it’s over — without a word ever being a said about it. So a first fight is important. Not that I’m encouraging you to pick one, but when…
Does dancing skill equal lovemaking prowess?
In “Dirty Dancing,” we are seduced by Patrick Swayze’s dance moves. He is so smooth, so sexy, so hot. We long for a man who moves like that, who is so sure of himself and knows how to move with us in perfect union. But was he as good in intimate situations as he was…
“Tell me about yourself”
The first real-time contact with a potential date can be awkward. You may have a sketchy description from an online profile, or just a few minutes of information from the friend who connected you. You want to find out more about him, but you’re not sure how to ask without seeming like you’re interrogating. So…
Are you describing yourself compellingly?
“To say something nice about themselves, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do.” —Nancy Friday If you are online dating, how do you describe yourself in your profile? Does it really reflect who you are? And if you’re not online, you might consider writing a description of yourself and what…
Dance through dating — and life
“Life may not be the party we hoped for but while we are here we should DANCE.” —Jerome Flowers This quote is from my Jazzercise instructor’s most recent newsletter. I thought it not only apropos as a life philosophy, but as a dating philosophy. I’m sure he meant this to be both literal and metaphorical…