“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.” Norma Desmond’s line from “Sunset Boulevard” takes on new meaning now that we have online video speed dating thanks to SpeedDate.com. This is a way for lazy people to speed date. Since I cannot see myself getting all dated up to attend a speed-dating event live,…
Winning at the online dating game
Social-circle accountability — a missing link in online dating
We’ve heard — and sometimes experienced — the horror stories of midlife dating. When we think that middle-aged men and women should behave like adults they flummox us with their adolescent behaviors. Many of these bad boy/girl stories come from meeting folks through Internet dating sites. If you’ve been around for more than a day,…
Let the games begin
As I respond to an interesting potential suitor’s email today, I hear myself saying the command heard at the start of the Olympics. I’m don’t like to think of dating as a game — although there are gamelike parts. I work hard to not play games in dating, even though there are plenty of those…
The dangers of IM flirting
I’m told some people found the love of their life through an online dating chat room. Others have shared they got to know they beloved long distance through IMs. While IMs can be a way to get to know each other quickly, it can also create a false intimacy. I rarely open my IM application…
Guys: Need your help translating
Gentleman readers: On behalf of my women readers, I want to offer my last date as a case study. I need your help translating this message. Yesterday’s posting talked about that date, which by my assessment went well. Not the best first date, but good. Here’s Mr. New Guy’s response to my thank-you email: Last…
Is your sense of humor stunting your dating?
In many online profiles, both genders say they want a mate who possess a good sense of humor. But what really does that mean? For many, it means the man makes a funny (or almost funny) comment and the woman laughs. But what if the woman is the funny (or funnier) one? If you are…
My dating site “friends”
“He looks so familiar,” I think, looking at the man in front of me at the coffee counter. “How might I know him?” My internal search engine Googled my mind looking for a reference to him from one of my social circles. Nothing snapped into place. Until… “Match.com,” I silently exclaimed. “This guy winked at…
The dating profile fudge factor
I may have led you astray. In “You are (probably) more attractive than you think you are!,” I based my comments on the observation that most midlife women I know think of themselves as less attractive than others rate them. And men tend to overstate their attractiveness. But a study reported in “Freakonomics: A Rogue…
Euphemisms R us
In dating profiles common phrases are used that are really euphemisms — nice ways to say what isn’t totally true. While I know you’d never use any of these duplicitously, others do. Some of these I’ve learned the hard way, as I am generally trusting and believe people at their word. But I’ve found that…
Making the rounds
I feel like a doctor making her hospital rounds checking on patients. But instead of looking in on Mr. Hernandez after his gallbladder surgery, or Mrs. Fukumoto after her hemorrhoid removal, I check on D1ForU, DreamBeau, LoverBoy1951. I go from Match.com to YahooPersonals to Chemistry.com to SoulMate to see if I have any emails or…
Marketing 101 for dating
Today I was strolling down the fresh men aisle at my favorite dating site. No one was enticing enough to pick off the shelf and examine more closely. I wasn’t even drawn to read any labels (profiles). What was wrong? Lack of marketing. With very few exceptions, online daters don’t know how to get people…