Category: Winning at the online dating game

  • Tips for initiating online contact

    Recently a DG reader asked: Do you have any tips on initiating online contact in a way that will get someone’s attention without sending them running for the hills? I’ve tried commenting on common interests or similar life situations with little success. In the last 3 weeks I’ve contacted 6 potential dates and had one […]

  • Approaching dating like a buffet

    A dating friend asked if there were any new interesting men on the horizon as I reenter the dating scene after the meltdown. I shared that an intriguing sounding man showed up in my Chemistry.com matches. He’s a graduate school professor at a nearby internationally renowned university. I said, “Even if we’re not attracted to […]

  • Are you his spare?

    For a few weeks a gal pal was exchanging flirty emails multiple times a day with a an online match. He then suggested they have dinner and she countered that she was more comfortable with lunch. They continued their multiple-per-day email flirting a few more weeks, but he never again brought up getting together. She […]

  • Fresh out of men?

    When you find yourself out of prospective dates, wouldn’t it be great if you could just go to the store and pick up what you want? Were it that easy. In “Shopping for men” I described how sometimes you have to be creative and patient in your search. DG reader Stephanie writes, “What happens when […]

  • Should you respond to someone about whom you’re ambivalent?

    You receive a nice, personalized email from a man on a dating site. He’s crafted an message specific to you, commenting on items from your profile. His profile is fine, but something is a borderline deal breaker. You vacillate whether to respond with your nice boilerplate “Thanks but no thanks” email, or to encourage more […]

  • Review of “I Love You, Let’s Meet”

    I was introduced to I Love You, Let’s Meet through alert reader Elena who posted the link to the video in a comment. I thought the video humorously captured what happens far too often with online dating — you become enamored with someone through emails, IMs and phone calls. Then you meet, and nothing. No […]

  • When to remove your online profile?

    You’ve been dating your guy for a little while — perhaps 1-3 months. You like him a lot and he seems to like you similarly. You have no interest in seeing anyone else, and he says he isn’t seeing anyone else. He asks you what he says to men who email you, and you say, […]

  • “Tell me about yourself”

    The first real-time contact with a potential date can be awkward. You may have a sketchy description from an online profile, or just a few minutes of information from the friend who connected you. You want to find out more about him, but you’re not sure how to ask without seeming like you’re interrogating. So […]

  • Are you describing yourself compellingly?

    “To say something nice about themselves, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do.” —Nancy Friday If you are online dating, how do you describe yourself in your profile? Does it really reflect who you are? And if you’re not online, you might consider writing a description of yourself and what […]

  • Virtually falling for a guy

    I mean “virtually” two ways: As the dictionary defines it: “nearly, almost” as in not really; and Via the computer and/or phone; not face to face. My neighbor and I were once again comparing dating notes. She’s dipped her toe in the dating water a bit the last 6 months, going out with a handful […]

  • Phone number screens dating callers for you

    My friend Doug alerted me to a new service he thought would be perfect for daters (no, he’s not representing the company). It’s called GrandCentral.com. It allows you to have a free phone number in any area code you want. You can give it to guys you meet online or in person and there’s no […]