Dating for lazy people

“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”

Sunset Blvd.Norma Desmond’s line from “Sunset Boulevard” takes on new meaning now that we have online video speed dating thanks to This is a way for lazy people to speed date. Since I cannot see myself getting all dated up to attend a speedating event live, if the concept weren’t so off putting I would be a potential customer.

But I can see the allure. As they say in their promo, how much time have you spent emailing and talking on the phone, pouring over someone’s profile and pictures, to then meet and have no spark — or worse, very little in common. Even with the most diligent of vetting techniques, there are more fizzles than sizzles.

So now you can have a two-way, real-time video conversation with prospective suitors. The demo on the home page is an insipid conversation between two twenty-somethings. Not a great sales tool — at least not for our generation. Yes, you can see the person speak and move, thereby exposing any strange nonverbal quirks.

When you sign up (for free) they also want to harvest your address book for other potential members. Skip this part. When I got to search, there were exactly zero men in my 48-62 age range living within 50 miles from my large metropolitan area. However, within 30 seconds a twenty-something looking man was saying “hello” as his image appeared on my screen. I’d purposefully turned off my web cam, and he had no information about me other than my age and city, but he was compelled to contact me? A bit creepy.

The site claims that it has reinvented online dating by:

  • No long profiles
  • No endless questionnaires
  • Just an easy & fun way to meet real people live

Let me get this straight — you know nothing about these people, no idea what they’re looking for or their education or relationship history, height, interests, etc. The only criteria for saying hello and spending 3 minutes with them is they are online? Isn’t that roughly what happens in a bar? But in a bar you at least see if you’re physically attracted to him/her before you say hello.

This is how it works:

  1. Go on lots of live 3-minute dates with webcam or text chat
  2. Vote for who you like
  3. Connect with your matches

I signed on again and was greeted by a 28-year-old who lives 3000 miles away. I ended the “date” immediately. Apparently you put in your age range and location requirements and it will serve you all the people who are online that meet that criteria. His criteria must have been 16 to 99-year-old women living anywhere on the planet.

There is a tab called “My Profile” where I’m assuming you can enter information about yourself, but there was a technical glitch that kept giving me an error. If my theory is right, you could check out the person’s profile while you’re chatting.

I don’t know — maybe I’m old fashioned or just stuck in my ways, but I don’t see using this site. Would you? (Yes, Bookyone, we know you wouldn’t!)

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7 responses to “Dating for lazy people”

  1. Kvetch Avatar

    Seems worse than JDate!

  2. bookyone Avatar

    Hi DG,

    You’re dead right there. Oddly enough, I get e mails all the time from guys online, but most don’t make the cut, as they’re way too young for me, (under 30, and sometimes waaaaaaay under).

    Considering your exerience, I wonder if this is a growing trend, young guys trying to chat up older women, and, if so, why? You’d think they’d have their hands full with the gals in their own age group. I certainly don’t make a practice of talking to 19 year olds for dating purposes, so why do they feel compelled to contact me?

    Meanwhile, the guys my own age stay far far away. Maybe they’ve read my comments on this blog and figure I’m a lost cause. OK, I probably am, but that’s still no excuse for not writing to me. 🙂

    Bet wishes from bookyone 🙂

  3. Gatti Avatar

    I used to have a dial up AOL account and before I learned how to hide the fact, people can see that you’re online. They would try chatting me up all the time and most were inappropriate, even if I had been looking for a contact in that manner.

    I think the young guys are just trying it on with as many hits as possible in the hope of some hot chat, sooner or later.

    It really does seem like dating for the fast-food, ADD generation.

    No thanks!:)

  4. Rod Avatar

    Well… it does seem like dating for people with ADD… on the other hand, my first date after jumping back in the pool, involved a 6 hour drive, an expensive meal, a $50 parking ticket, and the waste of an entire day – I knew the second I saw her and talked to her, that it was going nowhere. So maybe SpeedDate is a way to save a lot of hassle for the newly initiated?

  5. Gatti Avatar

    I did quite a bit of travelling in my dating days too, Rod. Trains to Bath and Liverpool, two and three hour drives, and nearly always the deal was Dutch.

    But it was fun, I learned a lot, no one was a rotter if not the love of my life.

    Gosh, you must have thought she was going to be pretty worthwhile if you invested all that money and time! Too bad you couldn’t have figured that out sooner or met in the middle or went Dutch or something. DG’s recommended half hour coffee date sounds the better dea.

    But as we used to say in the old country, ya pays ya two (or 50) bucks and ya takes ya chances…

  6. hunter Avatar


    yes, it is a common practice all over europe, young men with older women. The reverse of that, is common in the U.S…..

  7. Rhea Avatar

    Speed is important. I think this could work.