I never would have thought of this question, but a friend suggested it as a way of discussing the desire to step up a dating relationship, without it just happening willy nilly in the heat of the moment. I pondered what I’d say if I were asked. Answers did not pour forth, but only came…
Real deal or faux beau
Are you a generous conversationalist?
This weekend I had the opportunity to be with a handful of extremely smart, highly accomplished executive women friends. I noticed two things about our conversations: Some of the women add to the conversation only what they think would be of interest to others, not whatever crosses their mind at the moment. Some of the…
Noticing what’s positively eliminated
In relationships — even dating relationships — you often discover behaviors in the other that drive you batty. These behaviors aren’t deal breakers, just minor annoyances. So you non-judgmentally share your irritation with your guy and ask him if he would be willing to work on reducing this. He is accommodating, apologizes for it whatever…
Being played by a pathological liar
I think of myself as a good judge of character. I usually trust my gut and can often feel when something isn’t right. If something doesn’t make sense, I question it. While I generally trust people and look for the good in them, I am also skeptical. I am not easily fooled. But he did…
Giving and receiving emotional support
“My ex-girlfriend wanted me to support her emotionally, but she didn’t do the same in return,” my sweetie shared. “Hmm. I’m not sure I’d know the signs that someone was wanting emotional support unless they were crying or upset. What are the signs you want or need emotional support?” I asked. “Good question. I don’t…
Is your guy “spoilable”?
We’re usually more concerned with dealing with a man who is spoiled — self-centered, immature, and thoughtless. Ditch those guys immediately. I’m talking about the opposite — someone who is so other-focused that it is hard for him to receive. Most of us — at least me — like to be spoiled once in a…
Easy way to ask hard questions
Some people find it difficult to ask probing questions to uncover their date’s values, beliefs and preferences. Enter Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers To Be, a book designed to help you easily dive into potentially difficult conversational waters. The book is designed to be used by both of you. It is broken up…
Paranoid or observant?
You’ve been dating around for a few years, having second dates or more with a dozen or so men. You have enough experience under your belt to notice that in the past there’s been a shift of behavior that has preceded a guy’s going poof or breaking up with you. There’s a change in something…
Prince Considerate
Many women refer to their perfect man as Prince Charming. We want someone who is likable and knows what to say to get along with others. But charm can also be shallow, knowing what to say without really meaning it. And he could be charming to others but lose that capacity with you. I grew…
Bank of Grace account overdrawn
You met a guy and you seemed to hit it off really well. You saw him a few times. Lots of flirting, which led to hand holding and even kissing. In between seeing each other, some calls. But there were also a lot of unkept promises and missed commitments. There were plausible reasons, so you…
Are you holding on when you should let go?
Have you been in (or perhaps are in) a relationship that the other person isn’t as into? It doesn’t have to be a committed relationship, as this can happen even in dating. You are more into him than he is to you. He indicates this by his lack of calling, initiating outings, or verbally giving…