Your experience dating your current guy swings from elation to disappointment, glee to frustration, fun to hassle. But the good far outweighs the bad, so you stick with it. When it’s great, it’s really great.
It would be easy to complain about — and to — him. But you have to realize you voluntarily climbed into the front car of this emotional roller coaster. When you look forward to seeing him, you are on the uphill, raising your hands high in anticipation of a great, adrenaline-filled time with him. If it turns out to be a dud or a difficult time, you are disappointed.
Are you a drama queen? No. Is he a drama king? No. But still there are emotional ups and downs which some find common with new relationships, when you’re getting to know each other, having unexpressed — and therefore often unmet — expectations.
In “What’s your date’s score on the Delight/Disappointment Scale?” I suggest you track this relationship’s emotional roller coaster route. If there are dramatic highs offset by too many pronounced lows, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Any relationship will have ups and downs. But you want most of your relationship experiences on the upside, and the downs not repeatedly make your stomach drop.
Should you get off this roller coaster? If after a few weeks things haven’t calmed down, then yes. In fact, some people say that any time your emotions go into the Dungeon of Disappointment, you should not overlook the danger signs and sirens sounding. Others believe that you should expect some downs, as no person or relationship is perfect.
But of course, many of us tend to live our dating lives in the Fun House, seeing distorted images of reality. We look in the curved mirror of infatuation and his heart looks unusually big, so that’s the image we hold. Even when we step out into the sunlit midway and look at him again, we don’t notice that the humongous heart we saw as so large and open is really just normal size. Then we become disappointed when this romantic giant is really a regular guy.
Have you experienced a dating emotional roller coaster? How long did you stay on it? Did you enjoy the ride or hate it? What happened that made you get off?
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