Many months ago, I was sharing with a gal pal how I was smitten with the guy I was seeing. After stammering to answer when she asked why I liked him so much, she eventually asked, “Does he share your world view?”
I stopped in my tracks. It was a question I hadn’t thought about. First, I had to think what the question meant. Next, I had to articulate my world view and look for signs of his world view. Then I compared where they matched or didn’t.
So what is “world view”? Your world view is how you see the world: friendly/unfriendly, optimistically/pessimistically, people are good/people are out to get you, you are safe/you are at risk, you are treated fairly/unfairly, etc.
After this was defined, I quickly reviewed in my mind his behaviors that exemplified his world view. Within seconds, I had to answer “No” to her question.
Is it a requirement that your potential suitor share your world view? Not necessarily. But if you are the eternal optimist and he is a constant pessimist, you will begin to drive each other crazy at some point. If he thinks all people are bad and you think generally people are good with a few bad apples, then you will experience much frustration.
We could cite examples of ardent Democrats and staunch Republicans marrying and living happily. Or people with polar religious views. Or pro-lifers living with pro-choicers. However, I think these couples either are fine expressing their opposite views, or they decided not to discuss them.
My friend’s question forced me to see I was smitten because of surface attributes. I needed someone who shared more of my view of life. He and I did not last long after this realization.
How important is it that a potential suitor share your world view? What elements are deal breakers and what could you be fine with disagreeing? If you haven’t defined your world view, start now by listing how you see the world.
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