Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls until their allegiance to their spouse withers and they have become emotionally attached to their new-old flame. Sometimes the damage is done without their actually seeing each other after decades or having a physical affair.
Recently, I heard a story of a marriage shattered by a similar story. But this one happened in real life, not just virtual. There was no sex involved, but the wife insisted on a divorce because her husband was having an emotional affair. He was entranced by another woman, but the only physical part was his taking her hands in his while they talked over coffee. Even their walks on the beach didn’t involve touching. But he bared his soul to her as did she to him.
When his wife found out, she was humiliated and hurt. One can understand her reaction. But if there’s no sex, is it really cheating? Many think yes.
In response to my asking potential suitors why their marriage ended, the most common reason is there was no physical connection and no sex. They’d stopped touching each other. It’s rare to hear a man say he lost his emotional connection to his wife if they were still having sex.
So it is really an affair if there’s no sex or touching? Have you had such touch-free assignations with someone you’ve become emotionally attached? If so, how did you hold your boundaries about not allowing yourself to seduce/be seduced?
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Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache