Even eye candy isn’t good if you’re allergic

Last night, a date and I went to a Halloween party. The room was filled with scantily clad, hard-bodied beautiful people in provocative costumes. I tried to fit in with a comparably sedate, decidedly more understated attempt at a dominatrix. While I felt comfortable in my costume, even with my chubby, fishnet-encased legs flowing from my leather skirt (accented by a whip and name tag stating “Mistress R”) I wondered what my date thought of the beautiful, barely dressed women nearby.

“That Paris Hilton look alike in the bikini looks cold,” I commented.

“Yeah. Not too smart to wear that to a party in October.”

pirate“I bet you’d like to be held captive by that beautiful, stiletto-heeled pirate in the micro-miniskirt,” I teased.

“Nah. I’d rather walk the plank.”

As we admired the imagination and creativity of other costumes and how great people looked in them, he said, “They can look good, but based on some of our conversations with them, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of substance. I’ve learned that for me, it’s like being in a candy store looking at all the goodies, but then remembering that you’re allergic to sugar. Within a nanosecond you realize you aren’t interested in anything there.”

This was an interesting perspective for me to hear. Based on preferences of the vast majority of men’s online profiles, I’ve generalized that nearly all men would pick the Paris Hilton-type bodies over my curvy one carrying extra pounds. It was reassuring that he didn’t find these model-like women to be appealing. And it showed that he was a conscious gentleman to not go ga-ga over these women while with me.

He continued, “Sexiness and appeal have much more to do with how a woman carries herself — her posture, her walk, her dress — than her weight or figure. A woman who knows how to dress to her strengths and is happy with herself is sexy no matter what her size.”

I kissed him. I couldn’t help myself.

How do you feel about how you carry yourself? Do you think you project happiness and confidence? If not, what could you do to show more self-assuredness?

Technorati Tags:,,,,,,,, , , , ,

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.


3 responses to “Even eye candy isn’t good if you’re allergic”

  1. greendaze44 Avatar

    I think I do carry myself well. I recently broke up with my husband and so I can feel that I walk with much more confidence and sexiness. And the men that have been attracted to me are about 15 years younger than me. It is an awesome feeling and then I feel even sexier. It’s like, “Wow! I’ve still got it.” Just feeling sexy makes a difference.

  2. Another Ellen Avatar
    Another Ellen

    DG – I HAVE one of those fit, athletic bodies, and let me tell you it ain’t no easier, perhaps because most of those guys who who want them don’t have them! And many of the guys who have them don’t have much else to talk about besides their workout routines.

  3. David Avatar

    I’m a 23 year old male (in pretty good shape might I add) and to be honest I don’t find women with model-esque body types any more appealing than women with average to overweight body types. Appearances do matter to an extent, but your date is absolutely right. But then again your date and I cannot represent the collective views of the entire male population. Moreover, some men value other physical qualities over physique alone (ie. facial features). However, if a woman is intelligent, happens to have a great personality, and if there’s a connection; then her figure plays second fiddle ma’am. At least to me, but I’m still just 23.