My friends at LifeTwo.com asked me to participate as one of five columnists in exercises for their “Happiness Week.” I’ve written about happiness in dating a few times:
Let’s take a look at how we can meld things that make us happy into our dating activities. Start by looking at what makes you happy. As part of LifeTwo.com’s exercises, I was to answer several questions around what made me happy. The first list was about simple pleasures. Here are some of mine:
- Sitting in and working in my garden
- Reading an interesting book
- Watching an interesting movie
- Watching the ocean
- Viewing a thought-provoking museum exhibit
- People watching
- Meaningful discussions
- Listening to and/or dancing to R&B music
- Warm bubble bath
- Silk, cashmere, suede
- Comfortable shoes
- Cute shoes
- Cute, comfortable shoes
- Laughing/making others laugh
Now the key is to see how many you can combine with your date. I can do all of the above alone or with someone. When you make your list, see which ones you can enjoy with a special guy.
Now you may think this is common sense. I used to think the same way. Until I noticed I was doing most of the above alone or with gal pals. Now I’m better at suggesting activities from the above list, as well as participating in things from his list. If you only suggest or agree to the traditional movies and dinner, it gets old, even if you like that as an evening’s entertainment. Mix it up.
You could ask the guy you’re seeing to make his list, you make yours, then you show each other your lists and see which ones you are interested in doing together. It will make you happier to be together!
You won’t be surprised that also included were:
- Flirting with an interesting guy
Which, of course, I can also do with a special guy!
If you’re dating someone you aren’t happy around, decide to make yourself happy or get out now. Notice I didn’t say “someone who doesn’t make you happy.” You, of course, are the only one who can make yourself happy or unhappy. But sometimes we think we are looking for someone who will make us happy. And I do think it’s important to be with someone who’s interested in making you happy. But ultimately, it is you who decides if you are happy or not.
Read the rest of my responses on the questions posed to me, if you’re interested.
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