How many women have said they want a “knight in shining armor”? Well, I found one. Literally. His after-work life involves teaching historical swordplay and leather craft. He often gives dueling demonstrations at Renaissance faires.
He introduced himself by email the other day. (I wonder if it’s hard to type while wearing metal gloves. Maybe I should say he chain-mailed me.)
He’s also called me twice. (Must be fun to see an armor-wearing, sword-wielding guy on a cell phone.) We jested about jousting and how he could pun in his classes: “Do you get my point?” “This one will slay you.”
He seems to be on a crusade to woo me. (Will our first date be at Round Table? Will he pick me up on a white horse?) I think I would like being referred to as “M’Lady” and being treated like a queen. His bowing when I enter the room might get old, but I should try it before I decide.
If we move in together, would we buy Costco-sized armor polish? And just how does one launder a codpiece? In a cold, warm or delicate cycle? Would we get a giant circular table for when his knight-friends visited?
It might be fun to live in a castle, although I rarely see castles in the local real estate listings. Would you have to get a variance for a moat?
A modern-day Lancelot has allure, but there would be some barriers (hopefully not hot-oil filled ones). While he has a ready-made Halloween costume, I just don’t have the wardrobe to accompany a knight — by day or night. If we were invited to a suit-required event, would I have to specify, “Not the metal one”?
It would be comforting to know I’d be out with a man who would fight (and no doubt win) if my honor was impugned. But I just don’t see myself hanging out at duels. Could I bring my laptop and would there be a wireless connection?
It seems we are fond of different centuries. Perhaps I’ll let this one pass. Or I might just have an ale with him to see if he’s as sharp as his sword.
If it didn’t work out, I have my exit line ready: “Good knight, good luck”!