“Absence makes the heart grow fonder— of somebody else.” —Anonymous
A man who lives 400 miles away has been flirting with me for months and calls every day. He decided he would fly to my city this weekend to meet me. He’d get a car and a hotel room, so there would be no discomfort with him wanting to stay with me.
Today he called and said “I have an idea. Why don’t you come here? Some weeks ago I’d made plans with the guys to golf at a resort a few hours away, and I still have the reservations even though the outing is off. And it would be easier, as I wouldn’t have to schlep my golf clubs on the plane to your place.”
A few things immediately crossed my mind. First, easier on who? Certainly not me, as I’d have to schlep myself (sans clubs) to his place, then be at his mercy unless I rented a car.
Also, this was the first mention of golf. Isn’t the whole point of getting together to spend some quality time and see how we like each other? When he’s spending one day of the two we are to be together on the golf course, that limits our getting-to-know-you time.
Then there’s staying at the resort. This is our first time meeting. Would he expect to sleep with me? Or do I rent another room? This first encounter was now starting to cost me a pretty penny for a guy who was willing and interested in me enough to come to me.
I stammered that I would think about it and we could talk about it later today. I will bring up my concerns, especially about sleeping arrangements.
First dates can be hard enough without adding the complications of feeling put out by the arrangements. If I were advising someone else, I’d say save the resort time for later in the relationship when you know you click. I think I’ll take my own advice!
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