Long-distance suitor and the first date

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder— of somebody else.” —Anonymous

A man who lives 400 miles away has been flirting with me for months and calls every day. He decided he would fly to my city this weekend to meet me. He’d get a car and a hotel room, so there would be no discomfort with him wanting to stay with me.

Today he called and said “I have an idea. Why don’t you come here? Some weeks ago I’d made plans with the guys to golf at a resort a few hours away, and I still have the reservations even though the outing is off. And it would be easier, as I wouldn’t have to schlep my golf clubs on the plane to your place.”

A few things immediately crossed my mind. First, easier on who? Certainly not me, as I’d have to schlep myself (sans clubs) to his place, then be at his mercy unless I rented a car.

Also, this was the first mention of golf. Isn’t the whole point of getting together to spend some quality time and see how we like each other? When he’s spending one day of the two we are to be together on the golf course, that limits our getting-to-know-you time.

Then there’s staying at the resort. This is our first time meeting. Would he expect to sleep with me? Or do I rent another room? This first encounter was now starting to cost me a pretty penny for a guy who was willing and interested in me enough to come to me.

I stammered that I would think about it and we could talk about it later today. I will bring up my concerns, especially about sleeping arrangements.

First dates can be hard enough without adding the complications of feeling put out by the arrangements. If I were advising someone else, I’d say save the resort time for later in the relationship when you know you click. I think I’ll take my own advice!
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2 responses to “Long-distance suitor and the first date”

  1. LoverBoychik Avatar

    This Tiger’s approach may Woo Suzanne but I this approach would t(ee) me off unless I golfed. Either way, I sense a change. There’s something more alluring about a suitor coming to you. It feels as though he’s already backed off with his rush to salvage his deposit. You need to be the center of attention, not the golfcourse. So when he offers to take you clubbing I guess he’s treating you to links.

  2. Steve Mertz Avatar

    Dear Goddess, Great blog! The guy has good taste…he choose to flirt and call you! But these last minute changes are concerning. It seems that he should have offered to pay your plane fare and tell you not to worry-you would have your own room, which he paid for. It’s hard to believe that he was planning on bringing his golf clubs! It was nice while it lasted??