Making your own happiness

Yesterday was my birthday. When your birthday approaches, do you ask yourself, “What do I want?” Not just tangible presents, but what would make you happy not only on that day, but in life? I do.

Approaching my birthday, I decided I wanted to spend it with King Charming. Since I didn’t expect him to intuit what I wanted, I thought of several experiences I could suggest that would make me happy:

• going dancing
• having drinks on the patio of a favorite restaurant at sunset
• hiking through a local park to admire the wildflowers
• a drive and overnight through a picturesque part of our area
• dinner at a local fondue restaurant
• going to a comedy club

There was only one problem: King Charming was out of town and not to return until after my birthday. So what would be Plan B that would still make me happy?

Gal pals.

Thank heavens for our gal pals. A common complaint when a woman goes ga ga for a man is that their gal pals are neglected. However, they are the ones who will be there through it all, good and bad, from sublime smitten through bawling breakup. Don’t ignore them. Mine came through like champs and I celebrated for 4 days thanks to the generosity of fabulous women who I don’t get to spend much time with as they live several hours away.

One invited me to her forest home to relax (she has a heated pool, hot tub, sauna, and home theater) and do a little work on each other’s business. We interspersed this with hiking, talking about life, watching a DVD and, of course, laughing. We helped each other craft breakthroughs in our businesses.

A close gourmet friend allowed me to invite myself to dinner when passing through her town. Her sumptuous Italian feast was preceded with a hike through a local mountain park.

After dinner, I drove to another’s home and we talked until late, then I crashed. She treated me to a great breakfast as her 2.5-year-old cherubic daughter entertained me.

And to cap the birthday tour, I’d invited another dear gal pal to accompany me to fondue dinner. She arranged for balloons and chocolate souvenirs — but the cute waiter was a bonus!

So I got hikes, views, fondue, fun, great conversation — and chocolate!

Sometimes we look to the men we’re dating to supply the bulk of our happiness. However, most of us know how to create our own happiness without a man. If we’ve been single for long, we’ve had to or else we suffer with “If only I had a boyfriend who would….” That’s just silly.

Was I disappointed that King Charming would not be around? Of course. But you can’t let disappointments stop you from getting what you want.

What would make you happy — with or without a man? Start putting it in motion now.

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