A gal pal says that when you’re enamored, smitten, enraptured, enthralled, and/or mesmerized with someone, you become a ninny. Your brain is not fully engaged. You do and say things to or with that person that if you were advising someone else, you’d tell him/her not to do/say. But you find yourself thinking these are perfectly reasonable things to do, or you hear words, phrases and questions fall out of your mouth before engaging your brain. This ninny-ness is confined to when you are speaking to the objet d’amore — otherwise you’re fully functioning to others.
I was captivated by a charming, sexy man. After knowing him only a few weeks, and our expressing our strong mutual attraction, one day I heard myself blurt out on the phone, “Do you love me?” Arrgh! I immediately knew that was a stupid, stupid, stupid thing to say at this juncture. We’d only known each other a short while, how would anyone know if they loved the other? I tried to backpedal by saying, “That was a stupid question. Just ignore it.” But it was like trying to ignore the streaker at the ball game — it was already out in full view. It sounded so needy, so clingy, so lame. Ugh!
Early in my post-divorce dating life I was bewitched by a man who lived less than a mile from me. I found myself driving out of my way to go by his house when doing errands. What — was I suddenly back in high school? When I snapped out of it and saw how juvenile this was, I stopped.
Have you experienced ninny-ness in your dating life? When you saw yourself being a ninny (during or afterwards), what did you catch yourself doing? How did you learn to stop it (if you did!)?
(See a related post, “When midlife dating is like high school“)
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