Periodically, I’ll ask for your input on things that are going on in the DG world. If you’d prefer to email me directly rather than post your ideas, do so at Goddess@DatingGoddess.com. Your input is appreciated!
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A producer contacted me to be a radio show guest to discuss midlife dating. He wanted to focus on how to get a sweetie lined up for Valentine’s Day. I told him, unfortunately, I’m not an expert on how to find a love, just how to enjoy the journey when you are dating. He wants to interview me just the same.
So I need your help, dear readers.
What do you want to know that would make a good pre-Valentine’s Day radio show? What questions do you think DG could answer that would be an interesting listen?
I’ll tell you when the show is to air and where you can hear it.
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I am going to be starting some Dating Goddess teleseminars, where I can interview experts (e.g., authors) or others who I think will have value on various topics. Who would you like to hear interviewed and/or on what topic? We’ll also have available the MP3 and CD if you can’t make a live session.
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I received this the other day and thought I’d see what you could recommend for her.
Dear DG:
I’m tempted in ’07 to contact one of the online dating services to get back in the pool and swim. However, Consumer Reports recently did a review of the various programs, and confused me.
Some are “scientific,” some are open season, several offer you even more months for free if you don’t have success within 6 months (a crummy refund offer, as you’re likely so dissatisfied you won’t use the free months). Some will even primarily reject up to 18% of interested daters as “unmatchable” ( what a bummer that would be — rejected by my own computer!).
I don’t need the extra “work” of sloughing through the emails of folks that aren’t pre-screened as any sort of match, or browsing the dating aisles like being at a grocery store while hungry (we know how THAT ends up!) — so does DG or her readers have any suggestions on what online service to use? How do I choose a dating service, let alone a man? Or should I simply contact the high-priced yenta lady in the airline magazines?
Want back in the pool, but don’t know best way to get in the water…
PR
Dear PR:
My neighbor recently joined “It’s Just Lunch” as she was in the same time crunch you are. They personally matched her with 3 or 4 very nice guys so far, all of whom she saw at 2-3 times. Although she wasn’t physically attracted to any but one, she enjoyed them all.
My point is, if you don’t want to weed through a lot of profiles, emails from non-matches, or tedious questions a la eHarmony, I’d give one of the services a try. She said the above is $1500 to join. Now I’ve heard others say it’s a waste of time, but you know me — never a wasted evening (or lunch)!
If you decide to get your feet wet with online dating, I’ve found Match.com has yielded the best quality and quantity. Since it is the largest service, most people join it if nothing else. And you can post a profile without joining.
I’ve joined eHarmony off and on over the 2 years. Of the 150 men with whom they’ve matched me, I’ve gone through the tedious questioning back and forth with a dozen of them and met 3 or 4 face-to-face. None of them yielded a second date. I’m told they match you on intelligence, although you do a DiSC profile plus other questions. While the guys were smart (one of my main criteria), they were either political polar opposites, or not intriguing enough to see again.
I’ve tried over a dozen sites (but only join one or two at a time).
DG
Your turn readers — what advice do you have?
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Last Friday I was interviewed by a charming reporter from the San Jose Mercuy News on dating over 50. (He called me a dating guru! Cool!) I even suggested he interview Bruce! It will run in next Sunday’s entertainment section. I’ll post the link when it’s posted online.
Got a dating-after-40 topic you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to Goddess@DatingGoddess.com.
Comments
One response to “Readers: Want/need your input”
I think PR should go directly to a professional matchmaker and skip the dating websites. The reason? It sounds like she really isn’t up for it. In her note she says she doesn’t “need the extra “work” of sloughing through the emails of folks that aren’t pre-screened as any sort of match, or browsing the dating aisles like being at a grocery store while hungry…” Sorry but that is the reality of all dating web sites. Some may work harder than others at trying to arrange a match through lengthy pre-screening questionnaires and other bells and whistles, but for the customers who are using the service it still boils down to exchanging emails, figuring out whether or not the connection on paper/on screen will be the same or better in person, etc.
As PR noted, some web sites offer free months if you don’t meet someone, but deep down inside, who really wants that? Nobody signs up for an online dating site thinking “if I don’t find someone in six months, I get another six months for free! Oh goody!!” People sign up hoping to meet someone who knocks their socks off so that they won’t be available in six months!
Although the financial outlay is much greater with a professional matchmaker, there seems like there would be more accountability. If you are paying someone thousands of dollars to find you a mate, they are going to work on your behalf to find an excellent match, not just an ok one. And if they don’t, you can demand that the matchmaker works harder or gives you some kind of partial refund. I’m sure a professional matchmaker’s worst nightmare is bad word of mouth. Now, that said, the professional matchmakers, by their very (exclusive) nature, will have a more limited dating pool than an online web site. Also, there is no guarantee that they will find your soul mate. (Has anyone ever used a professional matchmaker? How did it go?)
If I were PR and I had the cash, time and motivation, I would sign up with a professional matchmaker AND an online web site just to cast the widest net possible. Among the online web sites, I agree with DG about Match.com. At one point I was on Yahoo Personals and Match.com at the same time and found that the quality of the responses I was getting on Match was way better. I tried eHarmony twice but it was a bust. I wouldn’t use it again. Take the eHarmony quiz, if you are curious, but don’t have that web site be your only dating service. OK, perhaps, as a supplement but not as your sole or primary dating site.