There’s a new five-episode series called “Ex-Wives Club.” Its hosts, Shar Jackson, Angie Everhart and Marla Maples, whose apparent qualifications are that they are good looking, are minor actresses, have had 15 minutes of fame because they were connected to famous men, and have been divorced, although Shar doesn’t even meet that qualification. She is the mother of two of Kevin Federline‘s kids. Angie’s marriage to Ashley Hamilton lasted 4 months, Marla’s to Donald Trump lasted 5.5 years.
In the promo, it says, “How do you mend a broken heart? By getting angry, getting even and getting over it!”
I agree with two of the three.
- Get angry. Yes, anger comes from sadness — disappointment that something didn’t happen the way you wanted or expected. You can get angry — or angrier — with him. And you can get angry with yourself for putting up with whatever or not doing something. The point is to fully express your anger, yelling, crying, hitting pillows — whatever it takes to move through it. If you don’t, it will keep leaking out inappropriately with your next suitor, your friends, coworkers or even yourself.
- Get even. With this one I disagree. Getting even is childish. In “Releasing revenge” I discuss how it may make you feel better short term, but it only perpetuates the hurt and anger between the two of you. Best to just let it go.
- Get over it. Absolutely. Release what you need to release, take a deep breath and step into your future. Mend what needs to be healed and move on. In “It’s moving day!” I encourage you to pack up all your past relationship hurts, release them and move on.
At one point, we see Angie confronting the ex of Rebecca, the woman guest. Now what did she hope to accomplish by ambushing and challenging him? Did she want him to admit being a jerk? To rethink his treating Rebecca poorly? I don’t know. But it didn’t make Angie nor the show look like they were playing with a full deck.
The show does offer hope and assistance to the guests for moving on. This is great. The best thing about the show is Debbie Ford, transformational coach/workshop leader and bestselling author. I first learned of her work through her book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. It spoke to me deeply. So during my divorce, when I was looking for books to help me through the process, I was thrilled to discover Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life.
Marla took on helping the male guest, Kevin. She took him for a makeover, got him new clothes, and even helped him promote his mortgage business.
After Rebecca got a makeover, they wanted to set her up on a date. Shar and Angie trolled for suitable men. The one who agreed — not only to the set up, but to be filmed during the date — was cute, educated, intelligent, attentive, and the date even ended in a kiss!
Wouldn’t it be great if we all had fairy godmothers (sisters?) to take us under their wings and transform us physically and emotionally, set up business opportunities and pre-interview our dates, all on a seemingly unlimited budget? This is the fantasy. But most of us only have our friends, family and counselors, and limited funds for our own recovery after a traumatic break up.
If you watch the show, share your impression. Is it good because it offers hope? Or bad because it encourages revenge and hypes an unrealistic quick-fix recovery after a devastating relationship ending?
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