A 25-year-old woman agreed to meet — for the first time — a man she’d connected with through a dating site at his house at 9 p.m. to go out to dinner. When she arrived at his door, he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her inside. There, a gun-toting accomplice demanded her keys…
Tag: Dating after 40
Thank you for using good manners
When leaving my exercise class at an elementary school auditorium, this sign caught my eye. It made me think it ought to be posted at coffee shops to remind daters to use their manners! Why did this cross my mind? I had another date that left me scratching my head. I checked with a couple…
How soon is too soon?
General wisdom is to take some time to be alone after any relationship ends. The shorter the time in the relationship, the less time it takes to recover. I once heard that most people need 25%-50% of a relationship’s duration before being ready to have another relationship. After talking for two weeks, a man disclosed…
Stud finder
When I decided to hang a picture recently, I wished I had a stud finder to ensure the nail went into wood instead of just plaster. Then it hit me — wouldn’t it be great to have a similar tool when looking for a man! One that would guarantee hitting a solid man, not a…
Men underestimate women’s need to feel safe
We’d talked on the phone a few times but hadn’t met. It was early evening when we talked again and he said he’d love to take me to dinner that night. But he had a favor to ask: his Jag was in the shop so would I drive to his area for dinner? He lived…
Breakup a time to reassess
A midlife friend recently broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years. The reason he broke up with her is after a lot of soul searching and couples counseling, it became clear they wanted different things. When I asked how he was doing regarding this, he said he was using this as an impetus to…
Taking the hard way out
When you’ve decided you don’t want further contact with someone, it’s easy to ignore their phone calls, IMs, texts or emails. Perhaps you rise a level to at least send a “we’re not a match” email. It’s hardest to actually tell the person face-to-face. However, if you’ve only had one encounter, it seems counter-productive to…
Sex talk too soon
A new man started pursuing me and after a few calls shared how much he liked me. I had made no sexual innuendos nor teasing, so was taken aback when he said, “I want to make love to you.” I’ve heard this from a number of men and generally shake it off as they are…
Feeling smothered
When someone likes another, the “liker” wants a lot of contact with the “likee.” However, if the ardor isn’t equal, the likee can feel smothered.
Setting boundaries vs. playing games
No one likes it when someone they are dating “plays games,” which is a nebulous description of someone trying to manipulate the other. (We’re not talking Monopoly, Bridge, or tennis here!) But very few people can articulate what constitutes a game. (However, it is commonly agreed that if an “attached,” [e.g., non-single] person acts as…
Handsome men who don’t know it
Good-looking men are nearly always alluring. Some ruin it, however, when you spend time with them. Their good looks have made them arrogant, vain, insensitive and/or jerks. They are used to women treating them well even if they behave badly. In an episode of “30 Rock” Jon Hamm played a handsome doctor who Tina Fey’s…