Stud finder

When I decided to hang a picture recently, I wished I had a stud finder to ensure the nail went into wood instead of just plaster.

Then it hit me — wouldn’t it be great to have a similar tool when looking for a man! One that would guarantee hitting a solid man, not a flaky one. Can you imagine how much easier it would be when you walked into a bar or singles event with one of these devices? It would light up and sound off when a responsible, solid, upright man was found!

I thought I’d play with this theme when talking to a new man the other night. We’d emailed, texted and talked over the last 2 weeks. But our schedules haven’t lined up so we can actually rendezvous. From all indications thus far he seems mature, intelligent, articulate, down-to-earth, responsible, humble and a gentleman.

We were chitchatting, as one does when getting to know one another. I told him of my need to hang a picture and my lack of a stud finder. He told me how great they are; they light up and buzz when a stud is found. I playfully said, “Then I should bring one when we first meet so it will help me locate you.”

Without missing a beat, he said, “It will explode.”

I nearly fell off my chair laughing. This was so out of character to the humble man I had thought him to be. It wasn’t off putting, but instead delightful that he’d come back so quickly with such a funny comment.

So, ladies, let’s build our dream Human Stud Finder. I don’t mean “stud” in merely the sexual vein, although, of course, that’s important. What else would we build into this new tool to help us ferret out the qualities we want? I’ll get us going: honesty, caring, romance, intelligence, emotionally stable, financially sound, healthy, responsible.

In addition to other qualities, how do you imagine our invention would work? Should it have an “anti-stud” feature to alert us of those with less-than-quality values? Do we program it with what we’re looking for and have it scan the room for those with a high percentage of matches? And assuming men have whatever the equivalent would be, it would be easy to see who is a mutual match.

Now, perhaps we can get someone to program and build this to our specs. We’d make millions!


Until the Human Stud Finder is invented, we are left to our own devices to determine if a man is a good fit for us or not. To help you with that, get your copy of Real Deal or Faux Beau: Should You Keep Seeing Him?


4 responses to “Stud finder”

  1. Karen Avatar

    That’s something I really need, too!

    I’ve been amazed to discover how many “non-studs” are out there. Especially by middle-age, I had assumed most people (men included) had figured out how to be a functional human being. But, no! Immature, addicted, and irresponsible men apparently abound (at least among single men).

  2. Catherine Avatar

    Love the idea of a stud finder. Genius…can I go to Home Depot to find one??

  3. maria rose Avatar
    maria rose

    there is already a tool kit for women out there ( comes in pink of course) so adding a Stud finder to kit would fit right in. Like Karen said above there has to be a way to distinguish the studs from the non-studs especially when they have passed a certain age. And they can’t all blame their mothers for an excuse, i say this because i have a grown son who does not get life on a silver plate from me. Part of being a functioning adult involves forming relationships with others and not from sitting on a couch talking via webcam or texting via Facebook etc. The best relationships involve interact with others

  4. Margaret Avatar

    To truly be of help, the stud finder will need to have a special attachment that works to CONVINCE us that the evidence is, in fact, true. Too often we want to believe that all the positive qualities are real and excellent and enough, so we turn our backs on any other information. (“Seems solid to me – I can’t believe this is just plaster! Damned thing must be malfunctioning!”)

    Sure, he ignored his kids after his first marriage — but that was because the ex-wife was impossible, right? I’m sure his current regret means he’s a solid, upstanding guy now.

    And no, we don’t exactly respect each other’s politics/grammar/taste in literature/penchant for monster truck rallies — but that stuff will work itself out, right?

    Oh, stud finder — please turn on your little diode, be a beacon of truth, and help the dating ladies see the light!