Tag: Dating after 40

Bemoaning to a psychologist friend the tale of a recent particularly jarring breakup, he said, “You need to ask better questions early on.” He was right. I thought I was reasonably good about asking important questions, but I hadn’t asked the one he suggested. I painfully learned that my beau of many months had no…

A man discloses volumes during a dating relationship, but most revealing is how he breaks up. It’s almost a shame that there isn’t a break up early on as you’d see how he treats you. If a man breaks up via text, IM, or email, I know he’s a coward, afraid to have a mature…

Early in your relationship you both promised that if there was ever anything that bothered one of you so much to consider breaking up, that one would have the respect and courtesy to share this in person or at least on the phone, not in an email, text, IM or voice mail. Having been broken…

I had a hot and heavy relationship with a man I dated for 5 months. It was one of those instant chemistry situations and after our second date we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We saw each other once a week, sometimes for several days, even though he lived less than an hour…

I’m amazed at the number of accomplished, assertive, confident midlife women who confide in me a problem with the their dating relationship. The common sense solution is to talk to their guy about it. However, many of these women seem squeamish at this prospect. When I ask why, they respond, “I’m afraid of losing him.”

When a trophy wife or girlfriend is mentioned, it is often with derision and cattiness. We think of a beautiful, but often empty-headed woman attached to a rich, powerful, often older, unattractive man. But what if you’re dating an attractive man? Not just a man you think is attractive, as we know a man’s attractiveness…

When you’ve been with someone for a while, you’ve made compromises based on his preferences. In a healthy, nurturing, loving relationship, each person makes some adjustments to better get along with or please our partners. If you’ve been together for years, these concessions become habits. You may not realize you even do them for him…

I am in SE Asia this week, having spoken to a conference in Jakarta earlier and am now in Penang, Malaysia, where I did a presentation Friday. I connected with a friend of a friend who offered to show me the island of Penang on Saturday. She had a conflict at the last minute and…

I bet you know the Buddhist proverb, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” This is true in dating as well as other areas of one’s life. We don’t usually think of people in our lives as our teachers, but they are. This is true for our dates too.