A friend shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year,…
Tag: Dating after 40
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Otis Redding wrote it. Aretha Franklin belted it. The song says all the writer/singer wants is respect from his/her partner. Just a little respect. Have you ever felt someone you were dating for a while didn’t respect you? Maybe he chastised you, second guessed you or told you your actions or decisions were wrong? Or…
Are you open to receiving?
Do you think of yourself as feminine? When I hear that word, I think of the terms usually used to define the word: delicacy, prettiness, sensitivity, gentleness, compassion. I conjure up an image of a demure, eyelash-batting, quiet girl/woman wearing pink lace and crinolines. A la Melanie Hamilton, Scarlet’s rival in “Gone With the Wind.”…
Why listening is so seductive
The man I started seeing a few weeks ago told me about a woman in a weekly group activity he attends who has become enamored with him and it makes him uncomfortable. When I asked what makes it uncomfortable he said, “I’m not at all attracted to her. She’s too effusive. She is always telling…
Understanding the stage your guy is in
Review of Keys to the Kingdom by Alison Armstrong Ms. Armstrong began her study of what makes men tick in 1991 and her staff gives “Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women®” workshops around the country. Her focus is on creating peace and partnership between men and women. She shares some of her findings in her novel, Keys…
The flirt-talk continuum
I’ve noticed that flirt-talk typically starts out innocently — you share things you like about the other, compliment him/her, tell him/her you think s/he’s cute, sexy or a catch, comment that you’re looking forward to talking/seeing him/her again. In person this is coupled with smiles, laughter, perhaps light touches and other body language to show…
Lessons from a bad date
Once in a while, when you spin the dating wheel, it stops on “Bad Date.” Of course you don’t know this going into the date. And luckily, my experience is it only happens about 10% of the time. But tonight I landed smack dab in the middle of that slot. Since it doesn’t happen often,…
Why too-soon midlife sex is like non-fat food
A guy I started seeing a week ago and I were discussing the lessons we’ve learned about jumping in the sack too soon. I shared what I reported in “What women need from a man before having sex” — that women need to have an emotional connection to make the physical part satisfying. He asked…
Are you “skin hungry”?
A friend used this term to describe when someone longs for touch. She said it means someone hasn’t been touched in a while, or perhaps as much as they like. Maybe their friends or family aren’t the touching type. They crave human contact — literally. But especially opposite-sex contact, even if it’s just holding hands…
My phone’s not ringing. Is that you not calling?
My pal Manslations blog writer Jeff Mac wrote about how to get a man you’re seeing to call you instead of just texting, IMing and emailing. He had some good wisdom about how we often think the other has the same preferences as us, so we don’t think of doing anything differently. Jeff wisely suggests…
Kisses do tell
Women place more emphasis on the first kiss than men do. We use it as part of determining if we want to see the man again or not. University at Albany researchers Susan M. Hughes, Marissa A. Harrison, and Gordon G. Gallup, Jr. recently published their findings on kissing in an Evolutionary Psychology article. This…