This was another study using only college students, 1,041 in fact. So I’m not sure that we can assume that this information applies to midlife daters. But it does seem consistent with my experience — a sample size of one.
Many of the college students reported having been attracted to someone, then discovered they were no longer interested after they kissed them for the first time. “In other words,” said Gallup, an evolutionary psychologist, “While many forces lead two people to connect romantically, the kiss, particularly the first kiss, can be a deal breaker.”
Exactly. In “In search of the elusive good kisser” I share the challenge of finding men who fit my criteria in this area. As I’ve gone out with 80 men now, although I haven’t kissed all of them, I’ve kissed enough that I’ve begun to relax my standards a bit. But if a man is such a sloppy kisser I need a towel afterwards, or has other kissing habits I find off putting, it will be a factor in my decision to see him again.
Kissing as a determinant of another date is mostly true just for women. Men said they saw kissing an a way to gain sexual favors or to make up after a problem. But women use kissing to assess the status of the relationship. Most females shared they would never engage in sex without kissing. However, men would; men said they’d have sex with someone who was not a “good” kisser.
The study showed that it was more common for males than females to initiate French kissing. In my experience, many men don’t gauge accurately if the woman is ready for that intimacy or not. They go there too soon, which can be a turn off rather than a turn on.
What do you think about first kisses? Does the man or woman generally initiate? And do you use a first passionate kiss to determine if you’re interested in continuing seeing your date?
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