Tag: dating over 40 advice

  • Are you longing to end the quest too soon?

                  Most of the people I talk to about dating want to find “The One” quickly and get the dating roller coaster ride over. They don’t enjoy the process of meeting new people and being disappointed when there isn’t mutual attraction. Or if there is, it doesn’t last long.

  • What does “I’m not ready to be exclusive” mean to you?

    The other day I was helping a newly dating pal navigate dating waters. He’s been dating about 6 months after the breakup of a long-term relationship and was multidating. He’s gone out with one woman multiple times in the last 6 weeks — we’ll call her Amy — and continues to see other women including […]

  • What’s your definition of romantic?

    A 26-year-old pal shared with me that he took his girlfriend around the neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. “She said we don’t do enough romantic stuff and she wanted to do see the lights. So I asked her if this was romantic and she said yes.” I gave him kudos for listening to her […]

  • How new cars are like new men

    A few weeks ago I bought a new car — at least it was new to me. A neighbor was selling his used SUV with very low mileage. I had been thinking it was time to replace my car, but I hadn’t done any research or decided what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want […]

  • Dating as networking

    We typically date with a goal: to find someone with mutual attraction. Some of us also want love and a long-term, committed relationship. Some want marriage. Some want just a fling. After dating a number of people and we don’t have the outcome we want, it can be frustrating. However, if we shift our perspective, […]

  • Instant boyfriend

    I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common. When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we meet there’s a sense of familiarity. The meeting seems like a formality, just verifying the other isn’t bizarre looking or socially inept and is […]

  • Is your prattling turning off your dates?

    Blathering. Babbling. Rambling. You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question. You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate. You lose […]

  • Dumped by someone below your standards

    When you first meet someone and are deciding whether to see each other again, whether you want to or not, you consciously or unconsciously size each other up. In addition to deciding if you’re attracted to the other, you assess if you are in the same league as the other. This league can be physical […]

  • Too much information?

    As a generality, men tend to keep relationship details to themselves. Their friends and family may have to probe and prod to even discover they have started dating someone. Guys keep that info to themselves. Only under rare circumstances would they share intimate details with their buddies. Women, however, tend to be the opposite. It’s […]

  • Are you an interchangeable cog?

    Most midlife singles have a vision of what they’d like their lives to be like in 5, 10 or 20 years. They imagine adventure trips abroad, luxury cruises, quietly enjoying their homes, or domestic RV trips. They may (or may not) have the resources to enjoy their dreams. There’s only one thing missing.

  • Slip-sliding away

    Some men just go poof — stopping any communication with you without a word. Others break up — in person, by phone, via email, or more and more commonly by text. They send a clear message they are moving on. But there’s another way men exit from a dating relationship.