I heard a sharp rap through the phone. “What was that?” I asked my friend. He’d just inquired about my love life and I told him of the current potential suitor who was very attentive, but lives thousands of miles away — and who I’d not yet met.
“That” he said, “was me slapping you.”
I laughed.
Yes, he was right. The chances of this turning into a lasting relationship was slight. It could happen, but most likely it wouldn’t. I knew that. I was kidding myself that it might be different.
How often do we know something isn’t going to work out, yet we continue to put time and energy into it, hoping it will turn out as we’d like? For most of us, this is too often. Especially if we are a hopeful, optimistic person. We tend to ignore the clear signs that we should just say adieu and focus on other, more suitable suitors.
And thank goodness for friends who are willing to tell us what we need to hear. Because even when we know what they’re telling us, we try to pretend we don’t.
I’ve now deputized my friends to tell me what is clear but I’m ignoring when it comes to love. I’ve not only invited them to tell me the stark truth as they see it, but I’ve told them they are required to do it. Even when I don’t want to hear it.
So far, they’ve been right.
What will it take for us to acknowledge what we know and act accordingly? To release someone who may be enamored with us, but we aren’t feeling similarly? To listen to our own inner wisdom rather than relying on our pals to point out the obvious?
How have you snapped yourself out of your delusion when in or toying with getting into a relationship you know isn’t going to work?
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Want to understand how to know when it’s time to release someone and to do so kindly? Get your copy of Moving On Gracefully: Break Up Without Heartache.