The art of wooing is not dead

Recently some DG readers have shared that the man they are dating practices the art of wooing. While we are very happy they found a man who understands romance and courtship, I’m sure I haven’t been the only one who wondered why I hadn’t found many (any?) who practiced this rare art form, without using it as a shortcut to the bedroom.

Then along comes Mr. Romantic. We flirted by email for a month after a pal introduced us by email for a business reason. We enjoyed each other’s sense of humor in periodic emails and calls, even though we both disclosed that we were seeing someone. Our email content deepened and frequency intensified. The people we were seeing disappeared for different reasons, and our focus on each other escalated, even though we live 600 miles apart and know the challenges of a long-distance relationship.

So far, here’s what he’s done that is romantic (to me):

  • Sent me chocolates for Valentine’s Day, even though he knew I was seeing someone else at the time.
  • Sends sweet emails multiple times a day telling he’s thinking of me and how much he cares about me.
  • Drove 600 miles, 12 hours each way, through several snow-covered passes to meet me.
  • Sent me flowers and a sweet note 2 days after he returned home.
  • Calls at least twice a day to say hello.
  • GhiradelliLeft me a present at the end of his first visit to my house. While I was in another room, he snuck into my bedroom to leave a Ghiradelli chocolate gift pack on my pillow, just like a fancy hotel.
  • Is flying in this weekend so we can spend more time together and go to fun places, including dancing, hiking, a Blues club and a film festival I want to attend.
  • Reads my blog daily, even the back postings, to understand me better, and learn what I want, like, and don’t like so he can do his best to make me happy.
  • Is kind, affectionate, respectful, thoughtful and funny when we’re together, on the phone and in emails. He is open and flexible and we negotiate so both our needs are met.
  • Talks about how he really wants a long-term relationship with me, not a fling, and wants to take some things slowly so I trust that he is telling the truth.
  • Says sweet things often. After my immediately thanking him for the flowers, he sent an email that said, “You’re so precious to me I’m so happy that you’ll allow me to do these things for you.”

He’s the best of all the men I’ve gone out with in the caring, sharing, spoiling, fun, intelligent, wooing, courting camp! What a sweet, dear, loving, thoughtful, delightful man.

What have you experienced that you liked in the wooing department that is different than the above?

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10 responses to “The art of wooing is not dead”

  1. Gatti Avatar

    Good for you, DG, you seem to have found one of the good guys!

    Except that I don’t have a blog for him to read and he only lives 70 miles away instead of 600, my guy has done some variation of most of the above. He has also:

    Cooked me a number of nice dinners.

    Told his friends about me and we are now getting invited as a couple to people’s houses and events.

    Making plans for shared holidays and trips.

    Brought me a present back from a trip (a small teddy, his son has the twin of it and they visit back and forth).

    Drove two hours and back to go out and help me look for a new car.

    Really enjoyed the films and music I brought along (and asked for more).

    Sent me a text message when he hadn’t finished writing an email yet, to bridge the gap until he could phone (whew!).

    I could see where some women might find all this too much, but it’s all done in a gentle and funny way and completely charming.

  2. Steve Lindsley Avatar
    Steve Lindsley

    He’s a very, very lucky man to be able to woo the Goddess. It sounds like a very special relationship.

  3. Christine Avatar

    Yes, I have experienced all of these things with the man I miss most! It’s highly satisfying at the deepest level and brings out all of the good feelings I love in an addiction! Have fun, DG!

  4. Gina Parosa Avatar
    Gina Parosa

    Dear Dating Goddess,

    Please be VERY good to my friend and co-worker. If I were single I’d be the one doing the wooing.,,,to him. You ARE a lucky woman…he’s quite wonderful and very tender-hearted. If you hurt him I’ll send my mafioso family after you (just kidding). He’s got this starry-eyed look that makes me very happy to see. Good luck to you both!


  5. luellen Avatar

    Dearest Goddess,

    You deserve all of this sweetness! You go, girl.

    Kisses, Lu Ellen

  6. […] of The Girl Scout Law concepts came up in a discussion the other day with my new beau (See “The art of wooing is not dead“). Last week he’d sent me a picture of him with a goatee. I commented how good it […]

  7. electricdreamz74 Avatar


    I have recently stumbled over one of these rare finds myself. The scarcity of these type of romantic encounters makes the experience just that more memorable and special. And I would have to agree with you, that everyone else just seems to fade away when the romantic veil envelopes ones senses.

    Although he and I have not depended the relationship to your level as of yet, (here’s hoping!) he stimulates all of my senses with his visual photography, as well as his verbal and written wording.

    In one area I do have you beat, DG. My romantic guy is flying over 2000 miles to see me for the very first time. I am very excited and will firmly keep all of your past dating advice at the forefront of my mind., if I can see the romantic haze

    Question: Do you believe that romance can dull the dating red flags, and perhaps disguise issues that would otherwise be quite obvious?

  8. Gatti Avatar

    Electric, not if your guy talks with you about everything, and I mean everything. Then you have the romance AND the communication.

    Gatti, feeling sort of smug 🙂

  9. […] How are you about receiving gifts from your guy? It’s my birthday! Since my sweetie’s work week ends at noon today he’s flying in this afternoon to take me on a dinner/dance cruise and spend his “weekend” with me. But you already know how thoughtful he is. (See “The art of wooing is not dead.”) […]

  10. […] It’s my birthday! Since my sweetie’s work week ends at noon today he’s flying in this afternoon to take me on a dinner/dance cruise and spend his “weekend” with me. But you already know how thoughtful he is. (See “The art of wooing is not dead.”) […]