At lunch today, a single friend was lamenting the challenge of finding Mr. Right. In her early 40’s, never married, educated, intelligent, funny and beautiful, she wants to have a family and is feeling the pressure.
When discussing online dating sites, she said she doesn’t post her picture because she wants men to be attracted to her because of what she says in her profile, not what she looks like. She knows that it is easy to be swayed by looks and doesn’t want to someone to be attracted just by her picture.
However, she isn’t finding a steady stream of qualified men beating a path to her door. I understand her desire to find someone who is attracted to her for her values and life philosophy. However, her no-picture strategy isn’t working for her.
To be successful in anything one has to continually evaluate if what they are doing is helping them get what they want. If not, they have to be willing to try something new. My friend would probably see a dramatic increase in contacts if she posted her picture. Yes, that means having many men contact her who aren’t good prospects. But she would enlarge her pool dramatically and be able to choose to connect with those who met her criteria.
Are you sticking to something that isn’t working because you’re afraid to try something new? Just try it and see how the new strategy works. You can always go back to the old way if the new one is worse!