What dates are you inviting to influence you?

Within the first few weeks of the new year, I was contacted by five of the 73 men I’d gone out with the last two years. I’d been thinking about how grateful I was that many good men had passed through my life as a result of dating. In fact, I told each of the five, “I’m grateful that we met and I have you now in my life,” even though we are not romantic.

Charlie JonesIt reminded me of a saying a colleague often uses in his speeches. Professional speaker and author Charlie “Tremendous” Jones is known for quoting a speaker he heard 50 years ago who impacted his life. The speaker, whose name Charlie can’t remember, said, “You are the same today that you will be five years from now except for two things — the people you meet and the books you read.”

Let’s take the first part, “the people you meet,” and apply it to dating. Not all the men you have coffee with will have an influence on your life, but some can and will. Even if the encounter is not the best, you can learn from it. I know I approach relationships differently because of the men I’ve met through the dating adventure.

Secondly, he suggests we will be different because of the books we read. That quote was said before the Internet and many other media, so I’d say we can be impacted by the work of various authors, screen writers, playwrights, directors, etc. Maybe even bloggers. 🙂

The key, I believe, is who are we inviting to influence us? If we have our dating filter set to allow interesting, thoughtful men through and weed out those who spell trouble, we will more likely allow in those who can help positively mold our thinking about relationships. If you read positive, abundance-focused writing, you’re more likely to think more that way, thus attract more quality people and experiences into your life. If you only read about all men being players, cads, and losers, those are the ones you’ll find asking you out.

So who are you inviting to influence you? What books, blogs, sites, radio shows, TV shows, and movies are you allowing to shape your thinking and therefore your perspective on life and dating? Share your favorites in a comment.

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One response to “What dates are you inviting to influence you?”

  1. Aggressively Single Avatar
    Aggressively Single

    Blogs: Of course DG is the best, but I really enjoy http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com not for the website but for the newsletter she sends each week which is well grounded and very helpful. http://www.topdatingtips.com has lots of great articles and actually provides a list of “The Rules” for both men and women.

    Other influences: I try to learn at least one new thing or perspective from people person I spend any time with at all, whether a friend or date. For recent movies, “Babel” was powerful and reminded me to appreciate each lovely moment because right now, this moment, might be the best time you ever have.

    For dating books, Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You” has such a funny and important perspective on relationships for women, I think EVERY woman who has a sense of humor should read this.

    For and extra dose of motivation when needed, Brian Tracy gets me going.