In “What is sexy?” I asked you to explore what you think is sexy in a man. Now I’d like you to identify what makes you feel sexy.
For some women, it is when they feel fit and healthy. When they neglect their workout routine, they feel sluggish and not at the top of their game. They don’t feel as confident or flirty.
Other women feel sexy when they wear fun, well-fitting clothing that flatters their figures. Some feel sexy in tight jeans, others in more relaxed slacks, and some when wearing swingy skirts. Others find power suits bring out the best in them, sometimes coupled with lacy lingerie.
Shoes are another tool. By changing footwear a woman can go from feeling matronly to red hot. A difference between a flat and a 2″ heel can change an outfit — and attitude — dramatically. And for many, thinner heels feel sexier than thick, clunky ones. Some women find strappy sandals appealing, while others love how pumps make them feel. However, for a women who’s uncomfortable in heels, flats are sexier because she’s more at ease.
Makeup helps some women feel fetching. Applied in the quantity and style for one’s comfort level, some feel it covers flaws and accentuates positive features. Others eschew estheticians aids because to them it feels fake and unnatural.
And for some of us, it’s our hair. While clothes, makeup and a healthy body contribute to my feeling sexy, I’ve learned that one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle is my hair. Generally, I love my hair, as it’s thick — 4 times normal I’m told. It’s naturally wavy, but sometimes I flat iron it. Other times I curl it and it bounces. I like to wear it longer — a few inches below my shoulders. But I’ve instructed my stylist to hack it back when I begin to look like those middle-aged women who wear longer hair trying to look 30 again. That is unattractive.
Recently it slipped into the danger zone. She pruned 3 inches, which left me with an above-the-shoulder bob. It immediately affected my feeling of sexiness. Silly, I know, since I’m the same playful, flirty, fun, sensual woman who entered the salon with longer hair. But upon leaving, I felt more frumpish. I know that with the right makeup, clothes and shoes I’ll feel sexy again. And of course, I can let it grow out again. But I find it astounding what a difference 3 inches can make.
Years ago, a different stylist cut my hair short, a few inches long. I looked like a brunette, female version of Rod Stewart, but not as thin. I cried myself to sleep. I had repeatedly told her that I needed to have some curl to my hair to feel feminine. She ignored me one too many times. That was the last time she had me as a customer.
I look at beauties like Halle Berry or Jada Pinkett Smith and notice the length of their hair — or a shaved head — doesn’t affect their sexiness. They express their mojo no matter what they are wearing or how they are coiffed. Of course, they have stunningly beautiful faces, so their hair is superfluous.
So what makes you feel sexy? If you can articulate it, you’re more likely to make sure you feel sexy — and show it — when out on a date, or even just around town. You never know who you’ll run into at the produce section of your grocery store. Strut your mojo no matter where you are.
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