Today I received emails from two guys from different dating sites. Reading them, I couldn’t help but wonder, “What was he thinking? That this would be appealing to me?” See what you think.
YourSlave wrote (this is how he sent it):
I KISS YOUR PERFECT PALE WHITEST FEET DEAR GODDESS
I WILL ACTUALLY BE IN YOUR CITY FROM IN A FEW WEEKS YOUR-MAJESTY! I ABSOLUTLY LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL PALE WHITE WHITE WHITE SKIN YOUR- MAJESTY-!
I am looking for a WOMAN TO PAMPER WITH FOOT-MASSAGES AND PEDICURES-!
I am also looking FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP THAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD TO MARRIAGE ONE DAY-!
You can always e-mail me back directly at: XXXX@aol.com. My yahoo instant messanger is: xxxx, by phone at: XXX CEL or at:XXXX HM
NEIL OR KNEEL AT YOUR PERFECTLY PEDICURED PALE WHITE WHITE WHITE FEET ALWAYS-!!!
All righty, then, looks like Neil/Kneel has not only a foot fetish, but a dominatrix desire. Sounds inviting — not!
Mark wrote (I didn’t write him although he says I did, so I think this is boilerplate or he wrote it to someone else):
Hi sexy,
Has anyone ever told you how ravishing you look?Well if not i guess am the first to do so cos i cant just stop looking at your pics and thinking that you were gurgious.. I just started this online dating thing which my friend thought i shld try out and see if i wld meet the right person for me..I THINK I HAVE if you will reply me.. eheh…Am Mark but my friends prefer to call me Mar..am an engineer currently working in Uk .Am from Colorado but i schooled at Liberty University in the states for 4yrs………am expecting to get you in my life if you dont mind someone like me …If you’d like to get to know more abt me..my yahoo ID XXXX. Thanks for the lovely mail baby….Well i honestly didnt belief that you wld reply probably cos am UGLY.. LOL…..but you did..WOW….You are really beautiful baby if i can say.
Although he was “schooled” at a university and is an engineer, obviously he skipped the English classes. Is this message compelling to you? It certainly isn’t to me.
So, what were they thinking? Sometimes I think some of these guys are from a different species.
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Comments
8 responses to “What was he thinking?”
I never cease to be amazed at the things that men will write in dating website email and on their profiles. I also never cease to be amazed at the level of illiteracy of some of these men.
The second gentleman was a scammer. This is indeed a “boilerplate” that they use to try and lure in women. Pretty soon after you start talking to them (and they make full use of lovingyou.com for smarmy romantic phrases) conversation degenerates into some sob story about them being stranded somewhere and needing money, or suddenly sick mother and needing money, or an inheritance tied up needing someone with a legitimate bank account to cash their fraudulent money order. They try to guilt you, or acting angry when you question them. If you don’t respond to the quickly enough in an IM conversation, they will often “buzz!” you with the messenger.
The scammer is most likely in Nigeria.
Quick clues to see a scammer is their use of english. While some of our boys (or girls!) may not be perfect grammatically, or misspell a word from time to time, these cats simply do not have the pattern of our language. Usually because they are using a mechanical translator or some type. Also, they seem to talk about you being their perfect soul mate, talking about relationships, marriage, and commitment in the first email.
The pics look professional….well, because they are. They are usually models pics harvested from websites, or even scanned in.
For more information on scammers, look into http://www.romancescam.com . They have a database of current scammers, their names and pictures they are using. It’s updated a lot, but of course it isn’t complete, as there are new scammers daily.
Dating website scammers make millions of dollars every day, bankrupting innocent victims with talk of love and roses, when all they are really after is your wallet. The adage still applies, “If it looks too good to be true, it probably is”.
Fortunately, I have never lost a penny to these creeps.
Yikes.
I was going to tell you that the second email was from a scammer, but Jamey beat me to it. I received a similar email with grammatical inconsistencies and other oddities the most alarming being the “gentleman” professing his undying love to me in his first email. While I never took him seriously, I replied to his email just to see where it would go, and it lead to a interesting chain of emails over 2 months. My “guy” must have been new at the scamming, because we never got to the part where he begged for money, but the emails sure were a hoot. The final one was a sob story about how he had been held up at gun point in Africa (country unnamed) and roughed up, they stole “a ton of bucks and a very expensive wrist watch, but I was not to worry as they hadn’t hurt his pretty face!” I about fell out of my chair laughing! When I didn’t take the bait, I never heard back again. One must be warned that there are both male and female scammers out there taking advantage of nice Americans willing to share their time and money to help others in need. It is better to connect people with a reputable charity and let them determine if they are truly in need then to try and help them yourself.
Thanks Catherine. I’ve been contacted by scammers before, typically accompanied by male model photos, but the one I posted was a new one for me. I’m told by a reputable law enforcement friend not even to play along because they do have contacts in the US that if you promise them money and then don’t follow through, there are people here that will come collect — and they don’t play nice! So we all should just ignore them and not play along.
I learned something new today. I have never heard of this type of scammer before.
Yeah definitely a scam. Always look out for outrageous behavior. They try to get a rise out of you and then you become obsessed over what this person is about. I have no doubt some people are even intrigued by these messages. Yikes indeed.
So here’s one that I got from a guy who sent me a message on Yahoo (he’s actually claiming that he did not just rip this off from somewhere, jackass):
You have an interesting profile that caught my eye, however, I cant quite seem to put my finger on just one thing. So, I am writing to learn a little more about the woman behind the portrait. Anyway, youve probably gotten a few dozen e-mails from guys who are freshly divorced from their 3rd wife, have 9 bratty kids, a sexy picture of an overly-hairy back, and who might like to give the United States a chance after living in Pakistan for the past thirty years. Either that, or you’re being hit on by the geriatrics who discovered the Internet and Metamucil at that same time and are feeling as virile as a twenty year old.
Well, Im not going to spend too much time talking about myself, but I’m confident, funny, adventurous, and cool — the kind of man other men want to be, and women want to be with! But most of all, out of everything else, my best trait is Im modest.
So if youre looking to further your career at the DMV, or think that Liver Spots are really, really hot, then Im not the guy for you. But if you want to meet up and have some stimulating conversation, then you should write back. If you think you can handle it, that is!
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And here’s the profile of another dude who just happened to wink at me the same day as the guy above:
I am sure that you are regularly approached by a plethora of losers freshly divorced from their sixth wives, with 5 bratty kids and sexy beer-bellies. Either that or you are hit on by geriatrics who suddenly feel as virile as 19 year olds when they see you…
Well, I am not going to spend too much time talking about myself but yeah, so I am hot – even the gay guys want me. Every guy wants to be like me – if I were not me, even I would have wanted to be like me. I am an aewsome spellr and wel-educatd. My weaknesses, of course, are being too smart and too humble – just kidding, I have no weaknesses; I am Superman.
So, if you think beer-bellies and liver spots are hot, I am not the guy for you. If you smoke, I am not for you either. But if you are blazing, intense and spontaneous and are up for some exciting conversation and shared goofiness, we should talk. My name is pretty rare, so it should not be hard. I love my spcae, so please keep that in mind when you try to talk with me…..
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Anything look familiar? Doing a search for a few select phrases from these brought up hits all over on men’s dating advice sites, plentyoffish.com, and others.
Men are such losers. They can’t even have an original thought when hitting on someone online. Why bother?!